Teen Dating Issues/Confused

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"Hi, my name is Aria and Im 16 years old.It's not really a big issue that im bringging up but it kind of messes with my life so I decided to ask you for some advice.I have a crush on this guy from my school,he's the same class with me.It's been six months already since I like him.The problem is him.This is how it all started.Six months ago,he started chatting with me online,I mean FACEBOOK.I was surprised because he never talked to me before and neither did I notice him although we were in the same class for 3 years.We communicated often, through social website and texting.We got really close..I started to grow feelings for him.And we even hung out together,though there were other friends with us.They said we both looked like couples since we were really close and when I rested my head on his shoulder,he didn't mind at all.I thought he had the same feelings for me too.And then suddenly,about two weeks later, he stopped everything.The chatting,texting etc.It was so obvious he's avoiding me.He would'nt even look at me.That happened exactly after we hung out and I rested my head on his shoulder.Later, after one whole month avoiding me(April),he started talking to me again,but not as it was before,plus May was our Mid Term exams so I guess we both put all our focus on that.I was worried about my results,thought they would be affected because of him but I scored very well,top 3 for my badge.He was number 4.I believed the main reason I did well is because of him.He's a smart guy who gets number 1 and I thought maybe if I do better than him, he will notice me.July on my birthday and we hung out again,although still it was never the same as the first time we went out.We started taking to each other but never got to the way we were or supposed to be.Then now in September,it's all back to the way it was, we got really close again.I started to feel that he liked me too, but I guess Im wrong again.The thing here is,this guy is probably confused about what he feels for me.He's maybe not ready for a relationship and it's not because of any ex(he never had).A few weeks ago,he's friend said we look like a couple and he just smiled at me.Then he said 'this age is to study'.That moment I got it.I agree with him.I myself am not ready for any relationship.I wanna focus on my studies and being someone someday but I can see him in my future.Im a girl and I trust my instincts.He either loves me or he did,not that he NEVER loved me.Now he's just confused about his feelings but I don't like him leading me on then leaving me hanging, ignoring me, pretending like Im a pole,invisible.I guess I just like him too much that makes me just to go along with his games.I don't wanna ask or say anything scared of rejection and losing him as a friend but Im almost sure that he knows I like him and he knew that for quite some time,however that didn't make him stop talking to me.Sometimes Im A FRIEND,MORE THAN A FRIEND,OR INVISIBLE to him.My friends notice the way he smiles and treats me ,they say he likes me,he does.I believe them and i trust my instincts but Im just not sure.Next months starts my Final Exam and Im here with this thing bugging me day and night.Why does things have to get so complicated.What should I do ? Play along ? Ask him ? Talk about it with him?? Im not sure,hope you can help me.Thanks alot for your time."

Answer
Hey Aria,

Thanks for writing in and dropping a word. It takes a lot to open up about issues in the back of the mind and when its related to our heart, it takes guts to pen down left alone talk with someone about the same. I appreciate your gesture in pouring your heart felt emotions and seeking a helping hand for the same. Kudos to you !!!

Well to be honest here, you also have got the idea by now that guy is quite moody types and he is not ready fro relationship. It's just that you are at such an age where even care, pampering from someone special apart from usual friends really make our day and we start getting into dreamland. It's good to have such moments and cherish the company, but reading too much between into that and then losing peace of mind would really hamper everything. Well the task of friends is to always bring up new things, point and at times they mislead us also. Your friends keep repeating that you guys look together, as they know u have feelings for that guy, so to provoke you, tease you and make you reach seventh heaven they do that, while infact in actual, they just trying to make you get distracted from your studies and lose out on good marks. Realize the things before its too late!!

In regards to the guy, just spend good time, don't get too involved or emotional or start seeing future from this stage. Try avoiding him at times and give him cold shoulder too, so that he also realize that you not some stupid girl who would fall for him and then go mad bout him. You also practical kinds and value your self respect!!

Just go out and give your best and  things would fall in place...

All the best !!

Cheers,
Relationship Counsellor
Bringing smiles on the faces on the way .....
(relationships.counsellor@gmail.com)

Teen Dating Issues

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I am quite experienced and matured enough to handle questions related to following topics: 1) Love- Friendship 2) Issues in all kinds of relationships. 3) making a relationship work. 4) Effective tips to sustain a relationship. 5) Sex related queries. Well as of now haven't come across any such questions, which would offend me or I lack expertise in, but am a straight forward person and doesn't hold my wordings back. I don't mind being honest in case I lack knowledge about particular aspect and quite flexible to accept genuine views of others or seek other professionals for my case studies, to help the clients out.

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Well I have been doing online counseling through my own blog ( http://world-of-relationships.blogspot.in/) for past two years. I have got good response throughout, which has motivated me in going ahead and helping people in their relationship issues and bring a smile back on people's face. I don't say that am a professional in this area, but well sufficient enough to contribute in the aspect of Modern Day Relationships.

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I have been an IT professional throughout my work experience of 8+ years associated with IT MNC's like IBM, Infosys Technologies to name few. I have conducted effective counseling sessions for different corporates I have worked with in my private capacity and contributed effectively to employees striking quite a balance in work and personal life.

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