Teen Dating Issues/Help me

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Question
Hey :) I like this guy. We've known each other for about a year now. Went out for like 4 times and only two times for us two alone.
He makes me smile and I can't get him off my mind but I don't date.
He flirts and sometimes I think he likes me
He asked me why I don't date and I told him I don't like
Dating and I feel there are more important things in life. Then I said plus I haven't found the right person and then he was like so if you found him will you date him?
And I said no.
The thing is he didn't change. I mean he keeps flirting and keeps showing he is interested in me even though he knows I don't date.
He's going for army next week .. He's 22 by the way and I'm 19. I'm gonna
Miss him so much and I don't want him to leave.
We were joking and in the middle of the words he was like who knows what's gonna happen in five years .. We could cut off with eachother or we could be best friends or we could get married.
What do you think I should do? And why do you think he still flirts and shows he's interested even though he knows we won't date??
We're supposed to go out before he goes to the army and I don't know what to do when we do.  Please help me. Thank you

Answer
You are both still very young. There is nothing wrong with having a boyfriend, but he's going away for a while. Are you sure you want to make a commitment at your age to someone you won't see for that amount of time?

You say you don't date. Ask yourself why. What is it that is so important to you that you consider dating off limits? Does this boy have something THAT SPECIAL that you would end you "no dating" rule? Or is him leaving the thing that is making you consider changing your mind? "Leaving" is no reason to fall in love. Don't confuse "missing" with "loving."

That said, I cannot tell you what to do because I'm judging by one paragraph. YOU are there. You sound very wise! There is nothing wrong with being best friends and sticking with your no dating rule. By the time he's out of the Army, you will both be so much more ready. THEN you can see if you still feel the same.

In the meantime, I would suggest that both of you live your lives like normal people your ages. If you meet someone, you should be allowed to see if THIS person, the new one, is special. I would rather marry someone knowing he picked me above all others than to believe I was his only choice because he felt committed to me too young.

I hope all this makes good sense. Please feel free to write back if you have any questions.

And good luck!

Suzi

Teen Dating Issues

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Suzi Zimmerman

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I am a teacher and I write books on teen dating, self-esteem, and values. I can answer questions on making healthy choices, self-improvement, liking yourself, relationships and friendships, goal-setting, values, and how to handle making difficult choices.

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Today 1 in 5 sexually active people has HPV (linked to cancer and genital warts) and 1 in 4 has Herpes. 90% of girls who do NOT use condoms become pregnant each year, and AIDS cases are on the rise. Those who do not have sex will not have to deal with these issues, nor will 99% of those who use condoms correctly and consistently. In short, abstain from sex or use condoms - and use them correctly. Parents of adolescent and teen girls should research Gardasil, a vaccine against many forms of HPV. You may not think your daughter will be sexually active, but this will also offer her certain health protection in the event of rape - or should she become sexually active.

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