Teen Dating Issues/Dorm Guy

Advertisement


Question
There's this guy that I have caught looking at me. We live down the hall from each other(co ed dorm). When he looks at me, he doesn't smile, but he has a warm look on hiss face. Also, I could be at football games and he's with the event staff. He would stare form the sidelines. Yesterday, I was heading upstairs to a friend's room and when I got to the stairwell, I noticed that he was ocming up the stairs. We looked at each other for a second and it looked like he was about to come in before me, but he stood back and held the door open for me. I said thank you and he just looked at me. I know that whenever a guy holds the door open for you, they are just being courteous, but giving his taring, what could that mean? Why didn't he say your welcome?

Answer
He sounds a bit like my son, who has Aspergers Syndrome. I'm not saying this young man does, but Aspergers comes with social anxiety, and maybe this guy just doesn't have the same social skill set you do. He may be extremely quiet, a bit nervous about talking to girls, or he may not have been brought up to be responsive.

Here's what I would do. The next time you see him, walk up to him and introduce yourself. Say, "I've seen you around a lot, and if we're going to keep running into each other, it seems like we ought to at least know each others' names. I'm Jordan." And then say it was nice to meet him, and take off. I like that approach because it's bold, it's "take charge," and it crosses that uncomfortable hump two people are faced with when they feel like they know each other but don't.

And if he's still shy and you are still interested, it also gives you a little control. You can invite him to sit with you at lunch or dinner some day. Or you can just use his name in passing (guy's love to hear their names roll off girls' lips!).

I hope that helps. Let me know how it goes. Now I'm curious!!

Suzi

Teen Dating Issues

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Suzi Zimmerman

Expertise

I am a teacher and I write books on teen dating, self-esteem, and values. I can answer questions on making healthy choices, self-improvement, liking yourself, relationships and friendships, goal-setting, values, and how to handle making difficult choices.

Experience

Today 1 in 5 sexually active people has HPV (linked to cancer and genital warts) and 1 in 4 has Herpes. 90% of girls who do NOT use condoms become pregnant each year, and AIDS cases are on the rise. Those who do not have sex will not have to deal with these issues, nor will 99% of those who use condoms correctly and consistently. In short, abstain from sex or use condoms - and use them correctly. Parents of adolescent and teen girls should research Gardasil, a vaccine against many forms of HPV. You may not think your daughter will be sexually active, but this will also offer her certain health protection in the event of rape - or should she become sexually active.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.