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Teen Dating Issues/How to shake this feeling for a girl

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Question
In short, in freshman year I liked this girl and I'm pretty sure she liked me, too. It was just obvious but I never really did anything about it because I barely got a chance, too. Sophmore year, she had her locker next to mine and she was in a couple of my classes so I started to talk to her. I did everything but ask her out because I complimented her and flirted with her a lot but never told her so I messed up pretty bad. It was really bad, I had so many chances to tell her even though I'm pretty sure she knew that I liked her. I can't blame myself that much because I never ask girls out and always got nervous. I couldn't even ask for her number.

Now, this year, I almost never see her so I began to get over her because I had my chance(s). There's no reason to be stuck into the past. Then I saw her at a party yesterday, (I almost never go to parties because they're usually far away) I wanted to say something to her for some reason but she was always near her friends. And now, I have reborn feelings of regret. It's really annoying, how do I get rid of it?

Answer
That's the problem with regret. It's "baggage." Until you open it up and unpack, you'll always have baggage.

ASK HER OUT! Ask her to grab a coke or a coffee or a pizza. Don't ask her as a date; ask her as a friend. Then, when you are out, tell her about your baggage - that you screwed up and always wanted to ask her out but were too shy.

You've got her WAY up on a "pretty girl" pedestal. Take her OFF the pedestal and just look at her like a friend. That's the best way to approach all relationships, regardless. If girls are going to be scary to you, you are looking at them the wrong way. Change your perspective. They don't bite, and they don't break. But they do sense fear. And what is fear? It's YOUR perception of a situation, not something she has done to give you this fear. I know that for a fact, because if a girl gave you a reason to be afraid, you wouldn't find her attractive.

So stand up to yourself. Write down all the bad things that could happen, and work through them like an adult. Plan your strategy, and follow it through. Don't let your fear be bigger than your desire to befriend this girl. And once you are friends, then you can decide if there is more.

Good luck!!

Suzi

Teen Dating Issues

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Suzi Zimmerman

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I am a teacher and I write books on teen dating, self-esteem, and values. I can answer questions on making healthy choices, self-improvement, liking yourself, relationships and friendships, goal-setting, values, and how to handle making difficult choices.

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Today 1 in 5 sexually active people has HPV (linked to cancer and genital warts) and 1 in 4 has Herpes. 90% of girls who do NOT use condoms become pregnant each year, and AIDS cases are on the rise. Those who do not have sex will not have to deal with these issues, nor will 99% of those who use condoms correctly and consistently. In short, abstain from sex or use condoms - and use them correctly. Parents of adolescent and teen girls should research Gardasil, a vaccine against many forms of HPV. You may not think your daughter will be sexually active, but this will also offer her certain health protection in the event of rape - or should she become sexually active.

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