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Teen Dating Issues/Do you think he likes me?


I am a 14 yr old girl. I am quite fat but not obese or giant or anything. So I just shifted to this new school about 8 months ago and I knew at once that no one is ever going to like me as all the guys over here are those popular types who just go for those hot hour-glass figured beauties. But that didn't make me feel much bad as I knew I don't want to get into these matters. But a few weeks ago, I noticed a boy, name him Arjun, started staring at me. Actually, one day, on of my girlfriends told me, "OMG, look, Arjun's staring at someone over here!" That's when I started paying more attention and I started thinking that he stares at ME. Well, he is rumored to be having a crush on a girl (name her Tina) but I don't think they have anything going on as he doesn't even look at her. I think he looks at me but my friends say that he looks at 'them'. I have never talked to him. We have conversed once but that too, indirectly. Once, as I struggled (jumping and all) trying to get a duster kept high out of my reach on an cupboard, he came and took it for me and threw it to the teacher's table (note that he didn't give it to me) and went back to his seat to his friends. Then once during art class, the teacher made me stand with a few other girls because I had conveniently forgotten to bring my notebook. Now we (me and Arjun) had a complete eye-lock for about 10 seconds. I turned away in between as I was feeling uncomfortable but when I turned back to him again after a few seconds, he was still staring. I felt VERY uncomfortable and looked away breaking the eye lock (damn was i nervous!). So about the staring, I think I look at him a lot more often now to see whether he's looking at me or not, lol. But the point I am trying to make clear is that I usually look at him and he turns (as if he knows already that I am looking at him)and stares at me. Then I am the one to break the eye contact. Once, as we girls were making a line to go to the assembly, he came with his group of friends towards me and said to them with a smirk (looking at me right in the eye), "C'mon guys lets stand behind the girls today." Thankfully, he wasn't talking to me but was looking at him like that I pretty much freaked out and went back to the class room. Then when I peaked outside again, he and his guys had made another line and weren't standing behind the girls. So do you think he likes me? I cannot go and right out ask him on the face as if he says no, I'd pretty much make a big fool of myself. I can't ask him on fb too as I am not on fb. How can I make sure he stares at me and likes me? Please feel free to ask me ANY question related to this! I REALLY want to know whats up with him! Thank you so so much!

He sounds very kind-hearted.  It is nearly impossible to tell if a boys "likes" a girl or not, even if I could see all the things your describe.  Boys are very mysterious, and they don't always realize that they are sending signals or that those signals are being scrutinized.  

My advice is to befriend him.  Don't act like a girl with a crush.  Just act like a friend.  There is absolutely NOTHING to be lost by being friends with someone and then seeing if it develops into something bigger.  However, there is so much to be lost by wondering and never acting.

You talk about your weight and how it affects whether or not you will fit in.  It's not about weight.  It's about being able to love yourself.  If you cannot love yourself and your body at this weight, then create a plan to change that.  OR, accept yourself at this weight and work on loving yourself in the body you have.  But you cannot continue to compare yourself to other girls and despair because your body isn't the "ideal."  Something has to change.

Boys know when a girl has confidence and self-love.  Those girls attract boys with similar self-concepts.  Girls who lack confidence attract weak men.  Often, these men, who also lack confidence, seek out girls who feel badly about themselves and then try to control them. By controlling a woman, a weak man feels stronger.  But the truth is, those couples are just unhappy couples.

My point is that you are young, and you are the ONLY one in control, and that's the way it should be.  So take control of your body.  Either love it or change it.  Then take control of your mind so that you can be more self-assured and attract a man who will respect you.  You don't have to be thin to exude self-love, but you do have to exude self-love to be happy.  What will it take to make you love your body?

Let me know if I can help.  

Good luck!


Teen Dating Issues

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Suzi Zimmerman


I am a teacher and I write books on teen dating, self-esteem, and values. I can answer questions on making healthy choices, self-improvement, liking yourself, relationships and friendships, goal-setting, values, and how to handle making difficult choices.


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