Teen Dating Issues/Help me

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Okay so from where should I start? I got I introduced to a guy through whatsapp. I know it's completely wrong but he turned out to be nice, classy, and we found common friends between us. So I think now its's okay? Or still wrong?
He asked to see me and the first time I agreed, he just came and said hi then he left. That day and thefollowing days he kept whatsapping me like all the time. We talked the whole night.
He even called me on the phone and whenever he calls we talk for not less than one hour.
And then he asked to see me again, I went to see him but this time I was with my friend. And then he wanted to go eat Sushi and it was my first time I try sushi so I went with my friend (the one he saw before) and another friend. It's just that I don't want to be alone with him while we still don't know each other one. My friend didn't try sushi it was only me and him and he paid for me. I don't know why but he did. Then my friends left so we say alone for like one hour. He showed me pictures of his family and he started to talk about himself.
Then he had exams the following week so he. Didn't talk to me much and I didn't talk to him first. And then he doesn't talk like before, but he starts the conversation. And he called me a couple of days ago. He still has exams this week and then he'll finish. He told me he wants to go out with me alone next time but in an indirect way.
I don't know if in doing the right or wrong thing! I know I shouldn't open up to him and we don't know each other well but what should I do? I kind of like him. Should I go out alone with him or not? And how should I act with him? And do you think he likes me or not? Help!

Answer
I'm not sure about the "Whatsapp" thing, but I'm guessing it's a dating or social app for your phone or computer. It sounds like you have strong opinions about whether or not it's "right." since I'm not familiar with it at all, I'm also naive about why it would be so wrong.

I did notice you are from Egypt. I'm from the US.  Our two countries are very different, especially in regards to male/female relationships. I would never advise you to do anything that goes against the norm in your country (norm as in what is acceptable). That said, I'm a little hesitant to advise you on the app, itself, but I will advise you on the safety issues in regards to your situation.

I would NOT meet with someone privately that I just met until I spent some time getting to know him.  He needs to understand that.  It sounds like he is being patient, so be honest with him and say, "I appreciate your patience, but I'm a little new to this, and I feel that it's important to take this very slowly. I hope you will understand." If he can't be patient, perhaps he doesn't share your values, which means the two of you might not be very compatible.

Meet in public. Coffee shops and sushi restaurants are great places.  By the way, I hope you enjoyed your sushi; it's my favorite! Libraries work nicely, as do malls, busy parks, bake shops, and anyplace where you can "rent space" for an hour or two for the price of a snack or less. And always make sure your parents know where you are going (or at least a good friend). Lastly, get as much information on this guy as possible: car ID, address, last name, school, parents' names, etcetera.  And share that information with those around you. Make sure the guy knows that you are loved by a large and nosey group of family members who all know where you are and who is with you.

As for him buying your meal, some guys feel an old-fashioned need to do this, but at the same time, it does put them in a position of assumed power over you.  They think you owe them one.  Next time, you pick up the tab or insist on paying for yourself. When everything is level like that, it is incredible how much power shifts.  Or, if he insists on paying anyway, make it clear that that's his choice, but don't be wishy-washy about your personal space afterward.  You OWN you; don't sell even a millimeter of your comfort zone to a guy who thinks a plate of sushi earns him a hug or a kiss - unless that is also what YOU want.

I'm unsure why you say that you can't or shouldn't open up to him.  Getting to know him, and allowing him to get to know you, is how you decide if you want to spend more time with him. Obviously don't share too much, but start by taking it slowly and giving him a glimpse into your life - but not your personal life. Expect the same of him.  The longer you know each other, the deeper this mutual exploration will go; that's very natural and normal.  

So I would be interested in learning more about the app and about whether or not your culture differs from mine on this topic. I look forward to hearing how this romantic adventure is going.

Best to you!!

Suzi

Teen Dating Issues

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Suzi Zimmerman

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I am a teacher and I write books on teen dating, self-esteem, and values. I can answer questions on making healthy choices, self-improvement, liking yourself, relationships and friendships, goal-setting, values, and how to handle making difficult choices.

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Today 1 in 5 sexually active people has HPV (linked to cancer and genital warts) and 1 in 4 has Herpes. 90% of girls who do NOT use condoms become pregnant each year, and AIDS cases are on the rise. Those who do not have sex will not have to deal with these issues, nor will 99% of those who use condoms correctly and consistently. In short, abstain from sex or use condoms - and use them correctly. Parents of adolescent and teen girls should research Gardasil, a vaccine against many forms of HPV. You may not think your daughter will be sexually active, but this will also offer her certain health protection in the event of rape - or should she become sexually active.

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