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Teen Dating Issues/I'm completely lost and frightened.

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I was hoping that I could perhaps gain a bit of guidance. I am a fifteen year old sophomore. I have never dated (not even one of those pointless elementary and middle school relationships), been asked out, or even been able to get a guy interested in me. I am not a very social person and am pretty introverted, mainly because I have a fear of rejection and embarrassment. I find it difficult to guys, even ones that I don't like. I feel like I repel them. I know that even if I'm not the thinnest or prettiest or most athletic, that I'm intelligent, creative, and I have a few nice aesthetic qualities, but I still have very little self confidence and am not completely confident or comfortable in my own skin. I feel like I have no guidance. I don't have many friends and those I do have aren't very close, so they can't really help me. I love the closer friends that I have but some if them (to put it nicely) don't always have the greatest appearance, yet they can still attract guys and many of them have been in nice, steady relationships for quite some time. I feel so lost and powerless. I  remember my very first crush being in preschool. Of course, he thought I was icky and didn't want to be my friend. My point is that I've always had crushes, but the only thing that I can do is stay in my own little world and forget about him, waiting until it blows over. I don't know what else to do. I feel like I have no other option. For the past few years I've tried to block out any infatuation that may grow , and that's worked just fine until these past few weeks. There's a guy in one of my classes who suddenly won't stay out of my mind. He's been in class all year, but that class doesn't really interact much, so I've never let myself analyze him. He's nearly perfect, exactly the kind of guy I see myself with in the future. He's smart, funny, attractive, and I don't think he would be too far out of my league. I noticed a few weeks ago that we go to the same church, and I'm not sure if he's noticed me there or recognised me from class. I've never even had a conversation with him. There's one more thing: I have intuition, like a sixth-sense. That is a real thing. It means that I often recognise things I've never seen before, and sometimes think about our imagine something before it happens. I follow strong feelings I sometimes get, and can feel certainty in some possibilities of the future. It may sound insane, but it is very real and is a quality passed by mother through families. For example, I have unexplainable certainty that one of my children will be a dark-haired boy. I know it sounds crazy and stupid but I had a dream once that included a boy that I knew I was in love with and was my future husband. I'm not getting my hopes up but the guy in my English class is quite similar to him.    .   
I've never told anyone anything about this, not even my friends or family. I feel like they wouldn't understand and would reccomend I do something that would end terribly. Do you have any idea what I should be doing that doesn't consist of me spontaneously asking out a guy? (I'd certainly have a heart attack! I already have terrible anxiety and fear of judgement as well as stage fright!)  I completely understand, though, if you don't know how to help me. I know that I've for problems. Thank you if you've even read this far.

Answer
Hi Krista

Sorry to hear this. You sound very intelligent for a 15 year old! :)

You may have heard this before but its the truth. Your young and shouldnt worry about dating anyone. Someone will come along in your life and it will feel right and happen naturally. With that said, I would think of a few things you can talk to this guy about. Picture your conversation with him in your mind. Think about what you will say. At first it can be a really short conversation. Just a hello how are you is perfectly fine. Just so he knows who you are and knows you can talk to him :) Smile and be a little flirty with him

Then a day or 2 later go up to him again and say hi and introduce yourself. You can even say something like "I saw you at the same church I go to, we should hang out sometime". Then smile and leave. Again, just enough for him to know your interested in him.

Then see how it goes from there. Hopefully he will make the next move and come talk to you. Just have a few things in mind for subjects you can talk to him about.

Good luck and dont get down on yourself. You have a long life ahead of you. You can always message me and I would be happy to talk to you more :)

Sandi

Teen Dating Issues

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Sandi

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I can answer most types of question dealing with teens and preteens. I can give advice on dating, love, sex, friendships, same sex relationships. I am experienced at most preteen & teen subjects and have given advice to many people before. Who better to give advice to teens as being one myself?

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I'm a teen girl and have been in many relationships, both with guys and girls. I've been in many different situations and can give you great advice.

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