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Teen Dating Issues/Crush problems


hello suzi, hope you re doing fine. There s this guy i fell very hard for but he s a player, men of whores(upps sorry) and just wants to have fun- No commitment. He just wants to have a good time. Me , on the other hand, I am raised with all the best stuff from my parents, went ti courses since kindergarten and im so inexperienced with boys . Perhaps because of superprotective parents but well every guy i have met lets say was not worth it that ihad the guts to tell my parents we were dating. I mean they were all jerks immature 18 year old guys. And im a little bit selective. i cannot just go and have fun or sleep with the guy(thats what he wants though) without falling for him. But he s very clear when he says NO LOVE. And he was kinda 'advising me' as a friend(we re not friends) that i should try it with sb worth it, you know have fun, since no one would know it- just to feel good. Do adventures. I am not adventure type though(i sometimes feel afraid of men since my experience is 0)im the future wifey type. I want a peaceful life , no clubbying, partying, sleeping with men. One is enough - as long as its my true love. Okay i might go on dates to get to know them but thats enough. He and i should both fall in love. So should i take his advice cause im 18 and being paranoid? Sometimes, looking at girls of my age , I feel different,weird. By the way, my lack of experience also intimidates me. Is it bad? I dont thing guys are attracted by pure girls :/ Are they?

**I  mean , i cant hope he ll fall for me when he s clear he wants just somebody to spend time with by now. This stuff happens only in the movies- you sleep with the guy and then he asks for you and you two end up together. We re in real life here.

Very simply, NO. You should NOT take his advice. Is he some sort of relationship expert who has a PhD in dating or has published a best seller on the topic? No. He's a horny kid who would like to take advantage of you with no strings attached. Period.

Guys aren't interested in girls who give it away cheaply. PLEASE do not be THAT girl. I'm not one to push people to save themselves for marriage, either, but I'm from a different country and culture than you. Here in the US, very few girls value themselves the way you do. I don't know many who, at 18, haven't taken the advice of a smooth talking toad like your acquaintance.

Who cares if you are paranoid? I can tell you it's not worth it. Guys enjoy sex pretty much every time. Girls don't. It takes a great deal of experimentation before most girls figure out how to take pleasure from sex, so doing it to see how it feels might work for a guy - who can find satisfaction in a dirty magazine with his mom in the next room. But for you, I promise you that waiting DOES make it better. LOVE makes it better. Confidence in the relationship makes it better. Knowing he will be there in the morning to tell you how much he loves you definitely makes it better. Having your parents' approval makes it better. And so on. Sneaky, dirty sex is great for men, but I challenge you to find one woman who can say how awesome her first or even 5th time were. Absolutely NOT worth it.

Yes, you are in real life. In real life, guys dump girls who take this guy's advice. I hope you find a way to change your feelings for him. He doesn't deserve you.

Best of luck to you!


Teen Dating Issues

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Suzi Zimmerman


I am a teacher and I write books on teen dating, self-esteem, and values. I can answer questions on making healthy choices, self-improvement, liking yourself, relationships and friendships, goal-setting, values, and how to handle making difficult choices.


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