About Matt Expertise I can answer many questions in this area. I can help with asking someone out, getting over a breakup, and much more. If you are questioning yourself as to whether or not what you're doing is right or not, please feel free to ask me. I know much about teenage dating, considering I still go through many of the issues myself. I love helping other people, and there is no question that I will not attempt to answer.
Experience I am a teen myself for the most part, therefore I have much experience in this area. I have been on dates, good and bad. I have broken up with, and been broken up with several times.
Publications I have posted several poems on the website known as www.poetry.com
Education/Credentials I am currently a Jr. in High School. At the end of school, I hope to go into the field of Psychology to learn more about people and issues they face.
Awards and Honors I have some educational awards, as well as other ones as well. I always look forward to earning more awards.
Expert: Matt Date: 8/21/2007 Subject: Asking this girl out
Question QUESTION: Hi Matt, I'm 17 years old and I've recently disovered that one of the popular, beautiful girls at school likes me. I've talked to this girl on and off through high school, but I've never had a strong connection with her. Lately, I've made more of an effort to talk to her because I know how she feels about me, and I'm definitely interested. However, my attempts at making conversation haven't gone too well, so I've lost a bit of confidence with talking to her. I want to ask her out, but I can't seem to get her alone, for example I was going to ask her last night at a party but her friends were always with her. I really want to get her alone to ask her. Have you got any advice on how to do this?
Thanking you in anticipation,
Luke.
ANSWER: Hello Luke.
Before I really answer this, can I ask a few questions of my own? If you don't want to answer them, and just take any advice I can throw out now, that's fine. My questions are below.
#1-How did you find out this girl likes you?
#2-How long HAVE you known her?
#3-Would you consider you both good friends?
#4-Do you know ANYTHING about her status? Such as: if she's already seeing someone, likes someone besides you,etc.
#5-You said this, but what do you mean by ""my attempts at making conversation haven't gone too well, so I've lost a bit of confidence with talking to her.""?
Do you mean something like this--->Have you been talking/trying to talk to her, but conversations are short, and don't go anywhere? She answers any questions you ask, *like how are you,etc* then seems to lose interest, etc.? Spends more time talking to her friends, than she does you?
Well: I can suggest that you just ask her. If you have her e.mail address, you can ask her by that. Phone number: Ask her like that. Or you can do something similar to writing her a note asking if she has e.mail or phone number you can reach her at.. Actually you can just write a note, her follow-up to it, you write another one, etc. After about the 3'rd note or so, you can try asking her in it, if you two can hang out sometime.
If you two DO go hang out, you can ask her out then. Another way: Although she IS with her friends, go to her and ask her if you can talk with her alone for a minute. While you're alone, ask her out that way. Perhaps: you can get enough courage to ask her out, while her friends ARE AROUND still!? It probably don't seem too-simple, I'm afraid. However, at least you'll be prepared for it in the future, and show her you're courageous enough to do it..
Goodluck, and answer my questions in a FollowUp if you wish,, --Matty--
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: #1- I heard through all her friends that she likes me. Initially, I didn't REALLY believe them, but when I've been around this girl I have been getting a vibe that she feels something for me.
#2- I've known her for 4 years. As I said in my original question, we've never been all that close.
#3- I wouldn't say we're good friends. We've never been close but lately we've been seeing a bit more of eachother and I definitely enjoy being around her.
#4- I know that she isn't seeing anyone else at the moment. She's single. But a girl like her doesn't stay single for long, which is why I want to make a move.
#5- I've had a few short conversations with her. They HAVE gone beyond the typical "How are you?" lines but not far beyond. I wouldn't say she loses interest, we just run out of things to say.
I want to avoid asking her by notes, phones or the internet. I'm a big believer in asking in person. At the party I told you about in my original question, I definitely could of asked her for a minute alone, I regretted not doing this almost as soon as I left the party. But when we were at the party, our friends were trying to force the issue, trying to make us do things rather than letting nature take it's course. This made things awkward for both of us.
I don't think courage will be an issue when I get a chance to ask her out, I've done it in the past with relative ease. It's just choosing the right time.
Any additional thoughts?
#5-
Answer Hi again Luke.
Wow, I am extemely tired right now, and can NOT stay awake for anything. I'm not sure why, but hopefully this will wake me up some.
#1- Go with your instinct. If you think she feels something for you, she just might, expecially since you've heard she does.
#2- You haven't been too close, but are improving it recently? That's good to start.
#3- Same as #2.
#4- I know the type/feeling. Yeah, I agree you should do something soon.
#5- I didn't necessarily mean "lose interest", I just couldn't think of it. What I did mean was "run out of things to say".
As far as "forcing the issue", yea, I know it's hard to do what you want when you're being forced or told to. No peace, time to think, etc.
Choosing the right time: It's as I said previously. Even you said you have no problem. Just ask her in front of her friends if she'd like to go out and do something.. Or ask her if you can talk to her alone for a minute. Then tell her what's on your mind, and ask her. If you both walk home after-school or you ever see her, take that opportunity.. Maybe even if she walks and you bus, if you don't live TOO far, walk so you can take time to talk with her while walking?.
There are tons of ways to do it total, but only limited for "person". Best of luck, --Matty--
