Expert: Jet Rockefeller - 5/7/2007

Question
Hey.
My name is Simone and I have a boyfriend named Davo and we have been going out for 2 months.
I keep getting up and down feelings for him and I hate it and im extremely insecure because of past relationships.
When im with him I know I do like him and im comftorble with him.
I love spending time with him and I dont want any other guy but him.
It feels like I dont like him at all.
I dont like it because I want to really really like him but lately ive been thinking I should really like him by now and im getting really scared and feeling like I should just give up.
He sees I do like him and so does everyone else but I dont.
What are the signs of liking someone?
I just want to fall in love with this guy.
But at the moment he just feels like a really good friend.
When the feelings go up again then I think I am stupid for them going down again.
This guy has everything I have ever looked for in a guy but I keep falling for all the guys who hurt me so why cant I fall for this one?
I also thought I may not know I like him because ive never liked a guy that much before.
What are the signs of liking someone?
Will things get better?
What do I do?
Any advice needed :(

Answer
Hey Simone,

First off, I'd like to let you know that you came to the right expert with this one. I've recently experienced this situation with my current gf. Only I was the guy.

So for your answer,

My gf felt the same way you did. We met as coworkers, started flirting a lot, and then decided to date each other. I started falling for her quickly, however she kept on trying to fall for me. You can't try to fall for someone. You have to let time do its own work. I don't know how you feel about this person, only you can know exactly how you feel. But from experience, my gf had to lose me to realize how much she appreciated me, and how much she truly cared about me. We got back together within two days of breaking up, and soon after she finally told me that she loved me. When we broke up, she said "I feel so bad that you have strong feelings for me but I don't have those same feelings. I shouldn't have to feel like I'm forcing myself to fall in love with you." And she was right. Time took its course, and she fell in love with me on her own time. We've been together for 4 months now, and I've never been so happy with anyone else.

I think that you need to evaluate your feelings with him. If you don't see it going anywhere, let him know why (maybe you need to realize how much you want to be with him by losing him also) and hopefully you two can atleast stay friends. If afterwards you still see you two as just being friends, then let it be. But if not, hopefully he's still willing to give you another shot. Just make sure you're sure about what you want.

Hopefully this helps you Simone. Let me know how it goes. ;)