About Matt Expertise I can answer many questions in this area. I can help with asking someone out, getting over a breakup, and much more. If you are questioning yourself as to whether or not what you're doing is right or not, please feel free to ask me. I know much about teenage dating, considering I still go through many of the issues myself. I love helping other people, and there is no question that I will not attempt to answer.
Experience I am a teen myself for the most part, therefore I have much experience in this area. I have been on dates, good and bad. I have broken up with, and been broken up with several times.
Publications I have posted several poems on the website known as www.poetry.com
Education/Credentials I am currently a Jr. in High School. At the end of school, I hope to go into the field of Psychology to learn more about people and issues they face.
Awards and Honors I have some educational awards, as well as other ones as well. I always look forward to earning more awards.
Expert: Matt Date: 6/16/2007 Subject: A Long Story
Question this will take a while, so I'll thank you right now for just reading this:
Okay, there's this girl, we'll call her ABC. She's a year older than me, and is in grade 8 and is graduating in 6 days. I've liked her for a long time (like a year), but she's out of my league, and she's depressed about her last boyfriend since he harassed her. I've now started to just be friends with her and that seems to work out fine, since she's taken by a guy who is older than her. And I talk to her sometimes, like I'm not nervous around her, I just don't know how to act. And she brings up her current boyfriend like once a day to me, and relates the differences and similarities between him and ABC, and between him and me. She knew I liked her for a while, but I've now told her that I don't like her, and she said that we're not "bestest buddies". And when I told her I stopped liking her THAT way, she said "oh good, now I can be nice to you", so obviously she doesn't want me liking her, but that's probably just because she has a boyfriend. And we're in the same school. And us, grade 7's and 8's, recently went on a 15-hour bus ride for four days to Quebec City. On the way back, she sat with me, and we talked, and laughed at stuff. But I made a bad mistake while I was there, and I now know why she really got hurt, I said she had no dignity and no self-respect (yeah I know it was bad), and she got mad, and I said this because she played sexual (when I say this I mean letting people try to throw things down her bra), and then I found out she only let guys do this because she doesn't want to be made fun of, since she's been made fun of too many times already this year. Oh, and her boyfriend wants to beat me up because earlier this year, I was giving her deep compliments, like she's beautiful, and all that, and evidently he doesn't like that. And they've been going out for the last 6 months. Oh, and on the way back on the bus, we were just messing around, and she started to rub her leg along mine, and gave the "rar" look, and I laughed, 'cause I knew she was joking, so I didn't take that as anything.
So after all that, I want to know:
- When she rubs her leg along mine, in a playful way, how should I try to make her laugh by making another sexual thing, but nothing that is out of proportion?
- How can I hang out with her, in school, without people thinking I'm stalking her?
- How should I act around her for the last 6 days she's near me until next year?
- Since I'll see her one more day after grad, how can I make a memorable moment between me and her before she goes?
Thanks
Bye
Answer Hello there Daremo. Okay; first of all, I've recieved longer questions/stories, so it's quite all-right. I also would like to thank YOU. I'm appreciative that you stated your questions with a "" - "" beside them. This makes it easier to get to right away. Some of this is beyond my knowledge; yet I'll see what I can help with. Lets begin..
Well sadly; I must admit, this is common nowadays.. I don't see why it's soo common lately; but people "playing sexual" in the way you stated, happens alot now.. I agree with you saying she has no dignity/self-respect in some areas.. However; I also vote that you should have found a more subtle way to tell her this..
Perhaps by ASKING?. Next time this happens; ask her if she actually likes people playing with her in this way? If she says no; perhaps you should say something to them, consider telling her to tell them to stop, or even consider telling her own boyfriend? This type of behavior others show toward her is immature and dumb. She *ABC* shouldn't be afraid to defend herself.
Secondly; about her boyfriend wanting to beat you up because of compliments you give her. Be careful with such deep compliments. Saying that she's "beautiful, ect" may seem very nice and polite; however it may be too sincere, expecially considering the fact that you two aren't dating. I suggest sticking with casual remarks and compliments.. Such as instead of "beautiful": you say that she looks nice today, ect.
Her boyfriend may believe that with these deep compliments; you are trying to steal her from him.. He may think you're hitting on her, wanting her to date you, or possibly even start cheating on him.. This COULD cause someone to become defensive. If someone; expecially a good friend of my current gf, was saying to Holly *my gf* she was beautiful/sexy/hot/ ect. I would probably turn defensive myself.
It's nice that you think good, mean well, but keep it toned down a little.. You may want to apologize to her bf that you were being too deep with her.
--First real answer: I am not able to answer this because I don't have much experience in this area. I don't normally talk too sexually-fliting. Sorry, but I'm suggesting you ask someone else.
--Second: You should just be cool and casual around her. Just because ABC will be done in 6 days; this doesn't mean you have to dress differentlly with a tie, ect. Lol, no way. Just be casual and be yourself. This is no reason to "Act". Just "Be"!.. On one of the last couple days; pick a time and tell her it was nice knowing her this year, and you hope to see her again next year too. Tell her to have a good summer, or whatever it is that she's going on. Remember; there's a difference between "act" and "be". Act; is to put on a different face or attitude, other then someone who you really are. Be; is to actually KNOW yourself; and DO what "YOU" would normally do.. Another suggestion: ask her if she has a computer, and if she does, ask her for her e.mail address and if she has Yahoo, MSN, or AOL Messenger, (if you have any of them).. Or even ask for a phone # you can reach her at sometime.
Trust me here; I have to "ACT" when I am with my girlfriend Holly because I can't "BE" myself.. She is always soo happy/hyper ALL the time.. While this is good for her and myself; it's bad for me too because I'm not always happy, and NEVER hyper.. I AM always happy with her, and being with her.. Yet; I'm an open sentimental-romantic type of guy, and with her being happy/hyper all the time it's impossible to ever "TALK with her."... It's ALWAYS jsut "PLAY".. Therefore; it saddens me sometimes, but I keep on acting.. Do me a favor if you have time and wish that things keep the same, yet get better for me. :P
Thirdly: On the last day for a memorable moment of you two, take a camera. Ask her if you can get a picture or two of her, then ask a teacher or friend to get a picture of you two together. Get her e.mail, or phone number if possible, and it will be fine.
Well I hope this helps; and I hope it all works out for you and her. Please feel free to Ask Follow-Up Questions as often as you like, and question me anytime in the future about anything.. --Matt--
