AboutGypsy Girl Expertise I can answer questions about peer pressure, sex, actually dating, overprotective parents, abusive boyfriends and what to do about and how to end a bad relationship and more.
Expert: Gypsy Girl Date: 11/24/2005 Subject: ending a bad relationship
Question 69 yr old stepfather. My son has been interned with the Chivas
professional soccer club in Guadalajara for the last 2 years. He is
now l6. He was more or less demoted at the beginning of this
school year and now lives with his mother and I in Tepic(about
an hour & a half from Guad.) His father is in Guad.
In August he had his first sexual experience. Now he has a
girlfriend he met in school and is having sex with her, she is also
l6. He is with the Chivas club here in Tepic but is no longer paid
as a pro. He trains 3 hrs per day and plays in different cities in
Mex. His soccer playing has deteriorated and so has his
schoolwork since being with this girl. My wife went to his school
and talked with each one of his teachers. Every one said the
same thing, that his problem was this girl. She doesn't attend
class and so he hasn't either. Sitting around smooching with her
instead of going to class. They all also referred to the influence
she has over him. His friends joke about him being so controlled
by her. We have had it out here at home for the last 3 days. I
told him flat out he had to dump her but he doesn't have the
balls. She is very aggressive, coming to our house and calling. I
have put a stop to that but he refuses to dump her even after
seeing his mother crying over what he's letting her do to him.
Last night he said he would dump her but not until next week. I
have refused to help him except giving him a home and food. He
knows how pissed I am at him and he only replied that he had
things to discuss with her is why he wanted to wait until next
week. We are driving him to school and picking him up but we
can't control him all the time while he is at school.
Any suggestions on how we can convince him to dump her
would be appreciated. Thanks so much.
Answer David,
The more you press the issue, the more he's likely to want to resist. Its a sad thing to see someone become so wrapped up in someone else, but it happens.
I've been a victim of one of these kind of things. My best friend became so fixated on her boyfriend that our friendship basically dissolved.
I say you let him deal with the consequences of his decision. He's not seeing the problems apparently, and you have to let him. Punish him for skipping his classes, and letting his grades slip, not for the relationship itself. These are his choices to make and his consequences to bear.
Once the consequences become too great, he's likely to quit the relationship all together. I would just switch the focus from the girl to him. He's not going to class, his grades are slipping, his soccer game is suffering.
I wish you luck....I hope he soon sees the light.
Gypsy
