About Andrea Expertise I can answer practically every question related to teen relationships, from issues involving sex, friendship, breakups, and teen marriage. I got married at the age of 18 and had a set of twins shortly thereafter. I have been there and know how to deal with practically every issue under the sun
Experience I married at a young age and have been through the whole teen dating scene.
Question My boyfriend of three months just dumped me. I cryed really hard the whole day and the bus to my friends but now I'm completely over him. My problem is I don't know whether or not we should be friends. We were friends before our relationship started though. I am 13 and he is my first boyfriend. This was the speech he gave me or atleast parts of it:
"I think that you are going at medium speed and I want to take it slow. I'm not ready for the next stage in our relationship. Maybe it would just be better if we were friends."
so i want to know if he really wants to be friends or if the friendship would be akward.
Answer Dear Catherine,
It is possible to be friends after a breakup, especially since you were friends before. It really depends on how far the relationship went. In general, whenever there is something sexual going on in a relationship that ends, it's harder to become friends, but it can still happen. Given you were only together three months and were friends before, and him stating that he wants to be friends is probably a good indication that he really does want to be. At first, it might be awkward but after time passes the friendship is just as good or even better than before you went out. When I was your age I dumped a guy because I thought we'd be better off being friends. We still are friends and at times throughout my life, I felt closer to him than a boy that I was dating. The first boyfriend/breakup is hard. Time passes and you heal. There will probably be other heartbreaks along the way before you find "the one." Sometimes you can be friends later on and sometimes you can't. I had four "real" relationships in my life. I've had other boyfriends but they don't really count (at least, I don't count them)
. The first guy I dated and broke up with kept trying to get me to take him back but I wouldn't. We were civil but he hurt me in a horrible way and I never really was friends with him again. The second boyfriend hates me for no reason. I dumped him for cheating on me. The third guy and I weren't friends for a long time. Now, we are. The fourth guy is my husband, we were friends before we got married and he's still my best friend today. You are young. You never know what will happen years down the road. I know breaking up hurts. I hate how it feels. You wake up and feel so sad and empty, but, in time, you'll look back and see that it was for the best. I wouldn't try to really force a friendship. Just kind of be nice to one another and ease your way back into a friendship. After a while, it won't seem so strange. :) I wish you all the best. Take care! You are special!!! :)
~Andrea
