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Experience High school graduate
I have studied psychology for a number of years
Expert: Dan Date: 10/3/2007 Subject: He loves me as a sister?
Question Okay.. well my name is Theresa..and i have liked this boy (James) since June. I told him during the summer that i liked him and he took it fine..he just said he didn't want a relationship then. Well..just a week ago i told him all of my feelings for him. He said, "i thought you were over me" and i was like no that didn't work out to well.. so we talked about it that night and i thought maybe i had a chance.. because when i told him that i care about him alot and want to always be there for him..he was like Theresa..you know i feel the same way about you
Well i found out the next day that he was "talking" to a girl from another school so i asked him about it..and he told me that they were sorta talking.. and i was like oh okay i just want you to be happy and he started to feel bad i think because i told him not to worry about me to just be happy.
Well during school he always would joke around and push me in the halls and wink at me and all that. Also..for homecoming i decorated his locker..that was 2 weeks ago..and he still has it up.
Last night i asked him what his feelings are for me. And he replied saying.."Theresa..the feelings i have for you..is truly love..but maybe not the kind that you want..i love you as a little sister.I would get back at anyone who would hurt you. I care about what is going on around you and i think about you alot. I appreciate everything you do for me.I just don't have feelings for you like that though." So i said.. oh okay i completely understand..and he was like im sorry sweetheart and im like no don't be just please don't let this change anything between us. And he said sweetheart nothing can change that.
Well what i don't get is i go to all of his football games to support him and i have always been there for him. When he told me this last night i cried for an hour. And then at school today i cried when i saw him. And i think hes telling people i like him because people keep asking me..are you and James "talking"..and i have to tell them the story.
So question #1..If i don't let go of him and hold on..could his feelings ever change and he would love me as a girlfriend not a sister?
And question #2..Alot of people have told me that he has had sex with many girls.. he tells me he swares he only did with one girl. But i heard it right from the person he has had sex with that they did do it..And im not a sexual person and that could be why he doesn't like me like that..what do you think?
Answer Hi,
You didn't include ages here and all I can post are theories based on the facts above.
It's possible he likes you MORE than a friend and would want to date you, yet is afraid that if he dates you, he would LOOSE you as a friend. Common fear.
I wouldn't date him if he had sex with someone. I would talk to a doctor about sex risks. He doesn't sound right for you.
His feelings could change, yet you MAY be hurt more if you don't learn about the feelings you have for him. MAYBE it's not true feelings anymore. Maybe it's the "want" feeling, yet not true feelings for him. Very common. It's not healthy to HOLD onto a false hope like this. Be careful.
I won't answer that sex question.
Sorry
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IT'S IMPORTANT NOT TO RUSH INTO SEX. LEARN THE RISKS BY TALKING TO A DOCTOR.
