About Matt Expertise I can answer many questions in this area. I can help with asking someone out, getting over a breakup, and much more. If you are questioning yourself as to whether or not what you're doing is right or not, please feel free to ask me. I know much about teenage dating, considering I still go through many of the issues myself. I love helping other people, and there is no question that I will not attempt to answer.
Experience I am a teen myself for the most part, therefore I have much experience in this area. I have been on dates, good and bad. I have broken up with, and been broken up with several times.
Publications I have posted several poems on the website known as www.poetry.com
Education/Credentials I am currently a Jr. in High School. At the end of school, I hope to go into the field of Psychology to learn more about people and issues they face.
Awards and Honors I have some educational awards, as well as other ones as well. I always look forward to earning more awards.
Expert: Matt Date: 7/3/2007 Subject: I'm in a relationship, but I have crushes. Is this normal?
Question Dear Matt, I am an 18 year old girl, and I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. Our relationship has been good for the most part. Around 8 months ago I broke up with him because he kept lying to me about smoking weed and I couldn't take it anymore. Then I decided to give him another chance, and he ended up breaking up with me a month later because we argued too much. We did our own thing for about a month, and ended up getting back together after that. We've been back together for 6 months now, and things have been much much better between us. The only thing is, I have crushes on other guys while I'm dating him! For example, when we started dating again, I would be hanging out with him and one of his close friends. His friend, let's call him 'Jake', acted differently toward me than his other friends did. He talked to me and asked me what I thought about certain things, and seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say, too. I couldn't help but feel attracted to this attention. I am attracted to him physically, too.
Anyway, he had a party at his house one night, and my boyfriend and I were invited. My boyfriend had to leave for a few hours to go home to help his grandparents, and I stayed at the party. I drank way too much. Jake was with me the entire time, comforting me, and making sure that I was alright. I got sick and I was scared, and he was there. I don't know what happened after that, I blacked out. But Jake was sick too, and from what I hear, we were both just passed out on his kitchen floor. Since then, I have learned my lesson about drinking, and I never want that to happen again. But sometimes I do want it to happen again because I liked being alone with him. I sometimes think about him when I hang out with my boyfriend and even suggest inviting him along to things that we do. Whenever we hang out with a group of people, Jake always wanders over by my side to talk with me. None of my boyfriends other friends do that. One time we were in the car alone, and I said "It'so hot" and he said "I know something else that's hot". And I looked over at him because I couldn't tell if he was joking around, or being serious. I felt like he acted like he was joking around even though he really was serious. Does he like me? I feel horrible.
This isn't the first time I've had a crush on another guy during this relationship either. It's not like the crushes are big enough to get me to cheat on my boyfriend, I would NEVER do that, I care about him too much. And how could I even say I care about him when I feel this way about other guys? Am I a bad person? It makes me feel so bad because I know if he felt that way about another girl, it would break my heart. But then again, I feel like it's not a big deal because I know it's nothing serious with Jake or any of the other guys. Any advice would be great! Thanks!
Answer Hello Kailey. I was JUST about to sign off All-Experts when I realized that I must have been questioned by you while answering another question. So before I get off; I'll answer yours. To be honest; this question is a little over me in a way, yet I'll see if I can help just the same.. Lets see..
In a way I kinda undertand what you feel from past experience, yet not entirely.. No; you're not a "Bad Person". If you are; then I'll have to call myself a "Bad Person" for liking another girl when I was with my now, ex-gf. I'd also have to call my OWN girlfriend a "Bad Person" because of her attraction to some celeberties too.
The only real suggestion in this situation that I can make for you is.. Maybe you should take a break from dating?.. At least possibly take a break from talking with Jake, and your current boyfriend.. Tell them that you have things you need to straighten out and think about.
Also; seeing as to how I, myself am 18, and I care about your well-being. Not to sound rude; but may I suggest taking an Alcohol course to help you stop this drinking problem?
If things get too hard or complicated for you, please question me back and I'll do my best to help.
Please ask Follow-Up Questions as often as you like, and question me anytime, about anything in the future.. --Matt--
