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hi im 13 and i masterbate sometimes. and how do i tell my mom.also if u kan give me deminstrations on differnt ways i can masterbate.


At thirteen beginning to masturbate is a completely normal and age-appropriate thing to do. However, due to its private nature some parents are really uncomfortable bringing it up with their kids. Is there something wrong, or do you have specific questions that you feel like only your mom can address? If you think that your mom would not react in a negative or shaming way, I would suggest bringing it up when you're alone (perhaps in the car). Maybe ask a few questions about sex to introduce the topic, and if then ease in to your masturbation questions. If you feel weird bringing it up, tell her you're getting older and have some questions about your body and sex and that you'd appreciate a comprehensive book on the subject. Changing Bodies, Changing Lives is good, so is S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College, and Our Bodies Ourselves is a classic.

As for demonstrations, I can't really help in that department. Everybody is so different that you need to figure out what feels good to you. Start with a good understanding of your personal anatomy. Do you know what all the parts are and how they work? Once you know where your clitoris is, and how everything is arranged, it's much easier to proceed. Make sure you have access to a labeled diagram and a small mirror. Here's some links that might be useful in learning how to self-explore:

Basically, when you're just starting out,  figure out what feels good and keep at it - there's really no right or wrong way. A note, if something is painful or uncomfortable stop what you're doing -- when you're young this may or may not include any type of penetration, don't feel as if you need to rush anything.

Good luck,


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Julia Fout


I can answer questions about sex/relationships/sexual orientation, HIV/STIs, pregnancy and contraception, nutrition, puberty, how to talk to parents/friends/teachers, depression and anxiety and drug use/drinking.
I think teens need sensitive, practical, fact-based information that's relevant to real life and is drawn from experience - I'm here to provide just that.
Note: I am not a medical doctor, I cannot diagnose illnesses and my advice is not meant to replace the care of a qualified physician.


I have a degree in Psychology and am working towards my Masters of Public Health with the goal of being a Health Educator. In both of these fields I've spent a lot of time focusing on the needs (mental, emotional, and physical) of teens. My undergraduate courses were heavily focused on the development of the adolescent and all accompanying issues. In my graduate program, I've been enjoying learning about disease prevention/control and behavioral health science, especially as it pertains to sex education. Both in school and out,I've logged many hours mentoring and tutoring kids of all ages; competently responding and reacting to their needs and providing thoughtful direction.

East Carolina University
The Brody School of Medicine
Masters of Public Health Program

B.A. Psychology with a minor in Education
MPH Candidate

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