About Martin M Expertise Health is in the body, it`s in the mind and it`s in the emotions. About the body you can ask anyone, the other two are not so easy to discuss. Genitals are tricky subjects as well. So, just when sex is new and relationships become complex, who can you talk to? Teens need to grow up healthily in ALL respects. Your sex-life has just started, don`t let it start all knotted up. If you worry about the first time, kissing, virginity, STD`s, love, genital size, masturbation, homosexuality, self-confidence, oral sex or any such matter, ask away. Get it off your chest, don`t worry, be happy.
Experience I?m not a doctor, but I learned much about much. On this site I advised and helped hundreds of people who had problems and questions about their body, sexuality and relationships. I specialize in questions that are SILLY, PRIVATE, EMBARRASSING, DIRTY and STUPID. Somewhere in your teens, you run into puberty and sex gets to be an item. You learn the basics about puberty and sex at school and at home, but where do you get the details? The weird and naughty bits? Who do you ask those private and embarrassing questions? You don?t want to look dirty-minded asking a teacher, you don?t want to look silly and stupid asking a friend. If you don?t ask, you worry and blunder. That?s where I come in. Old enough to know, young enough (at heart) to understand you.
Question hi,
i used to have big problems getting to sleep at night! But then i kind of managed ti sleep properly and it was all alright but now if i try to get an early night i cant get to sleep, i always go to bed pretty late and i lie in bed for quit a while but go off to sleep with no prob! But its always very late and i dont think i get enough sleep and i always have bags under my eyes!
I am 13 so houe much sleep should i be getting a night and what can i do to get a better nights sleep?!
Thanx, Sarah!
Answer Dear Sarah,
You can't have read the details about my know-how TOO carefully. I do sex, not sleep! But still, I always give my very best. Here goes:
How much sleep you need (at ANY age) is a personal thing, but if you feel unhappy about it and get bags under your eyes, that is a signal you sleep less than you need to. I know that when I was thirteen, I needed as much as ten hours of sleep, at least.
The trick is to change your rhythm gradually. The problem with sleep is that you can't really “make up”. So, if you don't get quite enough sleep one night because your mother drags you out of bed by the short hairs at seven, you don't get sleepy earlier than the usual “late” the next night. You stay awake till “late” because that is your rhythm. You may be tired, but not really ready for sleep. Sleep is something that the body does, not the mind. And the body is TOTALLY stupid, it needs to be trained – rather like a puppy.
So, you need to get USED to an early night. Tonight you go to bed one quarter of an hour earlier than “late”. Tomorrow you go earlier by another quarter. And so on. Do it gradually. Go to bed earlier, but don't make big leaps, take it by small steps. It's all a matter of rhythm. If you go to bed just ten minutes earlier every night, you will go to sleep (more or less) as easily as before, but in the long run you gain (more or less) an hour per week. If you try to do things “all at once for this night only” because the MIND decides so, you end up staring at the ceiling for hours.
It's all a matter of slowly getting used to a different rhythm. You can get used to ANYthing as long as you make the changes gradual. Adapt, but take small steps. HOW small they have to be depends on who you are, it's different for everyone.
So far in general.
Now, when I was 13, I had a million worries to think about in bed. Do you have worries and thoughts? I bet you do. ALL 13-year olds do if they are as smart as you are (don't ask, I can tell). Thinking and worrying keep you awake NO END. Tackle the worries and thoughts. Talk about them, ask about things. Use your intelligence to get them straightened out, like the way you decided to go world-wide and ask me (I'm in Holland, of all places). And VERY important: use your intelligence to overcome the bashfulness about asking so-called SILLY questions. Until people are twenty-five, they are unable to be silly. In MY books they are, anyway. So, no matter if it's about sex or not, I'm here for the silly questions.
