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Teen Pregnancy/My friend is pregnant

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Question
I am 15 and my best friend is 14. I just found out that she is 3 months pregnant with twins. It doesn't really surprise me that she got pregnant because she always told me that her boyfriend refused to wear condoms. She's definitely not ready to have twins though. Her boyfriend is really immature so I can't really see him helping her out at all. Teen pregnancy is kind of common in her family; her 15 year old brother has a 2 year old son, her 20 year old brother has two kids one is 6 and the other is 1, and her mom had her first child when she was 16. She's already told her mother who said she will help take care of the babies. I'm really worried about her though. What should I do?

Answer
Oh my. This is a complete mess. You're a good friend to be so worried and invested, but unfortunately there is not much you can do. It sounds like this girl has made up her mind to keep the babies. In a best case scenario (in my opinion) her mom should've encouraged other options such as abortion or adoption, but since this is not the direction they're going, the only thing you can do is to be someone she can talk to when the going gets tough. Because believe me, it's going to get really, really tough and she will need a friend to talk to. Try to stay positive, non-judgmental and encouraging and you'll be doing her the very best service you can. Many teen moms have trouble keeping friends after they give birth because of how vastly different their reality becomes from their classmates, keep this in mind and try to cheer her up if you feel like she's becoming too isolated. But remember that you can't fix this problem and you can't live her life for her.

For the future, this is a good reminder that any boy that "refuses to wear condoms" is someone who doesn't care about your health or your future and isn't worth your time.

Best of luck to you and your friend,

Julia

Teen Pregnancy

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Julia Fout

Expertise

I can answer questions pertaining to pregnancy symptoms, likelihood of being pregnant, pregnancy prevention, your options once you discover you are pregnant, how to talk to parents, how to talk to partners, prenatal concerns, and emergency contraception.

Experience

I have a degree in Psychology and am working towards my Masters of Public Health. Both of these fields require an understanding of adolescent development, health behavior and health education. I am invested deeply in ensuring that teens have access to practical, fact-based information. To provide this I stay current by reviewing peer-reviewed literature, health trends and statistics, and the work of activists in the field of pregnancy, sex education, mental health and general well being.

Education/Credentials
BA in Psychology/minor in Education
MPH Candidate 2014

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