Follow-Ups to Answer from Expert Sierra Glinatsis

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Amber wrote at 2008-02-08 08:23:48
Hello Karissa. Im also 19 and also went through the same thing you are going through. I tried to have a baby for a year and a half at your age. Now looking back Im glad I didn't get pregnant then because Im also not with the same person. We were together for 4 years and he cheated on me...So anything can happen. A baby isn't going to keep you and your boyfriend together. And also please either take your birth control or dont. It really messes your body up and skipping days doesn't help get you pregnant. I really recommend waiting until you two are out of highschool There is no way you can go to school, work and raise your baby.



An answer to your original question? What could be the problem since your only 16? Maybe it just isn't meant to happen right now. Just something to think about...

Good luck with everything.

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Olivia wrote at 2008-04-25 06:09:03
You said how your mother would help you out - if you're relying in that, are you really ready to have a baby?



Regardless, I would really suggest talking to your mother about the decision you would like to make, I am sure she would have great advice to offer you with this decision.

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Teresa wrote at 2008-09-19 01:02:59
I will tell you what you are doing wrong...

the wrong thing is that YOU WANNA HAVE A BABY AT YOUR AGE... and let me tell you missy that you are one of the heck!



You dont know what you are talking about... I really hope you dont have a baby until you get into a WOMAN (a real woman with a job and the RESPONSABILITIES that being a woman brings!) and then if you still wanna have a baby later when you CAN take care of it by YOURSELF (not asking mommy missy! she wont be there forever!) then you have your baby and be happy...



But bringing a baby just for the sake of doing it, or beacuse is "in vogue" (which is SICK).. c'mon! have you take a look around the world you are bringin a baby into?



DONT BRING A BABY UNTIL U HAVE THE TOOLS TO GIVE A GOOD LIFE TO HIM/HER AND CAN RAISE IT WELL!



and i really hope God bless you and the best for you... think wisely...

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HaiRbAll wrote at 2009-01-07 16:24:06


HEy i ThiNk i HaVe An AnSwer FoR Ur QuEsTiOnn

JuSt Wait YoUr Too YoUNg JuSt EnJoY LiFe AnD HaVe Funn JuSt HaVe FuN aND Yess KeeP HaViN SeX BuT WhEn iT DoEs HaPPeN ThEN it DoEs BuT DnT Try And MaKe it Happen

i WiSh YoU ThE Best muCh LOve

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Kassiekayy wrote at 2009-01-10 20:57:50
I'm 16 years old and I was thinking I wanted to have a baby too but really it isn't a good idea any job you are going to get atthe age of 16 isn't going to pay many bills for the baby. And your boyfriend says he's going to be there for you but really do the guys ever stay at a young age there immature themselves go to college get a good paying job. If I was you I'd wait till I've been with someone a couple years and atleast 20 having a baby at this age will cause stress on your relationship

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Misty wrote at 2009-02-10 23:00:00
Karissa,



I want to start by saying I am not here to judge you....But, the first thing I saw that stood out to me was your answer that you would never be alone and then it would mean you and your boyfriend would be together forever.  I know at you may think this is a great idea but from experience let me tell you it is not all it is cracked up to be.. Having children is hard...I was 17 and pregnant..I thought my boyfriend and I would be together forever and my rational on having her was, well at least someone will always love me...I was so wrong...First, my boyfriend left after 3 months and we were high school sweethearts..We had been together for 3 years..I thought nothing could break us up...but of course it did...Were my parents supportive? UMMM I guess you could say that but all your going out even the little that you do stops! You are responsible for a little life now...You loose that privilege. Everything all your friends are ding you miss out on...Prom, Graduation, Dating, Partys, etc.etc.etc. Most important would be college...I missed out on all of that and the sad part is you grow to resent your child...That is not fair to that innocent baby...I learned all of this the hard way...Babys do not make anything better in your life...They are hard work and very very expensive...Look, Heres the deal, I lived in a studio apartment for 4 years with my daughter trying to juggle rent, food, lights, high school, college, and not to mention daycare ( which will run you 500 a month in tuition alone, this does not include diapers and wipes and extra clothing)...Please, please, please learn from my mistake...Take your time...go to college..Get married...Make sure you are financially stable...Please, Please, Please...If I had it to do over I wouldn't have had a child that young or I would have given her up for adoption. Have you talked to your parents about this? It seems to me, that if you thought they would support this that you would tell them...Am I wrong in assuming this?



I hope this will help you with your decision,

Misty

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just a thought wrote at 2009-06-05 03:01:11
Some other things to think about:



If you really want to get pregnant, staying on birth control but messing it up is not the way to go about it.  Either stop BC and try to get pregnant or stay on BC and stop trying to get pregnant.  Taking your BC at the wrong time messes up your body/hormones.



Have you talked to your mom about HOW she would be there for you?   Financially?  If you are choosing to have a baby, it should be you and the baby's father, not you and your mom.  Something you raise with your family (parents or siblings, etc) is a puppy or some other pet, not a baby.



Crunch the numbers.  You said you've been dating you guy for 1/2 a year, which is 6 months.  Just the pregnancy part is 9 months.  And you're 16, but you'll take care of this potential child for 18 years.  All in all, you'll be "done" raising this kid when you're 34, only about 1/2 a decade over the average age most married couples have their first baby.



Oh, and I dated someone from when I was 16 until I was 19.  I'm now 22 and engaged to someone else.  Someone I met in college, and no, we don't have a baby.  We're waiting until we TOGETHER can legally take care of a child together, when my job insurance will cover a child.

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haley wrote at 2009-10-23 20:28:26
This girl does not know what she would be getting herself into?

Half a year together. How is that love. You are sixteen years old...

And also I saw you mention that you want something to be just yours and your boyfriends. And that if you had a baby that means you and your boyfriend could be together forever. You can be together forever without a baby too...People are having babies for the wrong reasons when they just want something to love and be loved back and have a reason to be with your boyfriend forever. That is nonsense. Dont have a kid you are only 16 and you sound pathetic acting like you can take on a kid at the age of 16. Throughout that entire paragraph all i read about was you and your boyfriend. Is this your first boyfriend sweetie? Your dumb. Don't have a kid at effing 16 years old for the sake of your "Boyfriend" that will probably only last for what a year more?? Thats rediculous. Use the brain that god gave you and wake up.

Thanks. Thats all I have to say to you now. OPEN YOUR EYES.

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dia15 wrote at 2010-01-07 01:46:34
im 15, and i dont think you should have a child because at your age it's hard to provide. my stepsister had her child at 14, she has no job, and hardly pays her son any attention(he's 2). i know you wouldn't do that but it would be hard. you have to be able to provide food, clothing, diapers, and all the other important necesities for a child. im just adding in my opinion. i just don't think it would be a very important thing to talk or think about right now. school should be your top prority actually.

  sincery,

india

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Melissa wrote at 2010-01-30 22:30:46
I'm 17 with a daughter who is 4 months! It's verrrrryy hard to take care of a baby and especially at this age. I don't think it's a good idea to have one sooo young just think about everything you'll miss with your friends at college you won't be able to go out as much. You can't just leave ur baby alone. Also your relationship will change with ur boyfriend u have to cook for him do his laundry clean ur room . It's sooooooo many things u have to think of. I can't say I'm not happy bcuz I am i love my family more than anyhting. Just think about diapers their expensive and they run out fast. Your boyfriend will have to get a job to support u both and u won't be able to see much of him. I'm just trying to help someone out before they have to go through what I'm going through it wasn't planned it was a surprise. Just think how badly ur going to hurt ur parents and that's the worst feeling in the world especially seeing my dad cry. Well there's many other things I just can't write all of them I have to take care of jaslene my daughter. I hope you make a good decision !!! Melissa:)  

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Alyssa wrote at 2010-02-18 22:22:32
Karissa,

Where having a baby is a beautiful miracle, it's also an extremely huge responsibilty. I'm a mother myself and became pregnant at 16, now at 17 with a 6th month year old baby boy, I know i should have waited. Not just to have a child but to have sex at all. When you have a baby, your life changes completely and it's not your life anymore. Your focus isn't school, friends, or going out. Your child is your life and your a different person afterwards. You have to grow up quick and give up things that you would have been able to have. Not to mention is your boyfriend actually ready? Cause until he truely knows what being a father is like, you have no real idea what it will be like when your in that delivery room holding that tiny person for the very first time. My babies father was there that painful but wonderful day and he left, changed his phone number, and never looked back. Upon dealing with the pain of loosing the supposed love of my life and now having to take care of another it was hard. I can't describe to you how hard it was. Just remember that the chance to have a child will be there a year from now and year from that. There's no rush. Be smart. Be careful. I love my son, and i don't regret him at all. But I wish I would have waited until i could have given him more and make sure he never had to miss or go without a thing.  

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Priscilla wrote at 2010-03-08 06:10:52
Sierra: If you truly believed what you said about how this person should wait, why in the world did you tell her to stop taking birth control! If she doesn't know about ovulation cycles, she obviously is not ready to have a baby!!! I am so disappointed in you!

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Jessica wrote at 2010-03-17 07:34:19
Oh hunny trust me you do not want a baby at your age. They are so hard to raise especially at that age and I'm saying this from experience. You have to think about everything else like how are you going to afford this babys way. I had no other choice but to have a baby because i was raped. But i mean i love my baby girl so so much but i just wish i could have waited until i was older. You say you want a baby now but trust me you raising a baby is so hard at that age. You have to think about not only you self but that baby. You can't just leave your baby to go and do other things. Having a baby at that age takes allot of fun out of your life.  

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Karissa C. wrote at 2010-03-31 01:42:17
Karissa why do want to get pregant at 16? Is your dad around? Is your mom going to finacially support you? how does she feel about this? She should have a say in this. Are you ready to be in your own apartment? Do you have a car? Car insurance? Good credit?Child care for when your in school or at work? Do you want to spend your free time at the welfare office applying for cash asstisants food stamps and medicaid? What about college? I was 16 when I got pregant with my first son. Pregant at 19 with my second and 22 with my last baby. all with the same father. Im 30 now and weve been separated for 7yrs now. hes remarried and has 3 more kids. he hasnt worked consistantly so I have been the sole provider. He doesnt pay child support either. Im bearly in college for the third try now after all this time. It was impossible to work full time, go to school, study, and be a full time single mom. Now as my kids are older, I still cant give them what they want. We as a family struggle today,and they dont like that we never have money. Your not ready nor are you been fair to that unborn child or your mom.Wait. It will be worth it . I promise, wait til your out of college and truely with the right man.  

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Becky wrote at 2010-04-11 22:27:07
to the first one you dnt need a baby honestly but if you want one go to the doc and tell him to check to c if you can hav kids cuz sum people can't!

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Alyssa wrote at 2010-06-09 14:05:12
Hello, Karissa. I am 18 years old and i have a 2 year old son. Let me tell you if i had the opportunities you have right now i'd take advantage of them. i love my son, more than anything in the world & he is NOT a mistake. he is a gift from god. BUT, there is so much more to being a mother. its so hard. forget college, highschool, SLEEPING, friends or any kind of social life whatsoever. most of my friends don't talk to me b/c i can't just pik up & go whenever i want. I thought the babys father loved me when we found out i was pregnant i was scared enough & he left. he has never seen his child or helped out a all financially. i live with my older brother who also has 2 kids, he had them young too hes only 19. I wouldn't trade my son for anything in the world but i wish he would've came when iwas more mature to deal with it. At your age, you THINk your ready to take on the world but your not. You need to think about the child you wanna bring into this world can you really give a baby everything they need/want.? I wanna be able to send my son to college one day and buy him a car do you know how hard that is when you work two jobs just to pay bills? you may think your boyfriend loves yu honey, & hemay really love you BUT most likely hes just agreeing to have akid w/ you to shut you up. cause thats what about 95% of guys do w/ girls like you. WAITING is the best choice trust me, from a young mother.

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heidi wrote at 2010-07-02 13:39:30
i am 16 and pregnant, THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SHOULD TRY TO DO. my life, every aspect of it is already affected. please think it over.

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Sienna wrote at 2010-08-02 22:47:24
Karrisa,

Having a baby at 16 is so difficult. I got pregnant at 16 with my son. And here I am 7 months later with my baby Lathan, and I'm struggling. As would ANYONE in the same situation. You can't even imagine the challenges that come with being a mom this young. And nothing you see on tv, read in books, and hear about from friends can even compare with the real thing. My son is my world and I feel sorry for him because his dad couldn't handle it, so he left. He's never going to be apart of Lathans life because he COULDN'T HANDLE THE RESPONSIBILITY. Your boyfriend could very well do the same thing. You have to be smarter then I was, wait and respect yourself enough to not put yourself in that situation. Would you really be able to handle the guilt of not being able to give your baby the world? Because thIs exactly what you would be doing. You loose your life, your friends, most of the time your boyfriend, and sometimes even family. When I had my son many people dropped me like a bad habit because they didn't to be seen with the pregnant girl. Think about what your doing... can you really handle it?

With Luck

Sienna  

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amy wrote at 2010-08-28 23:53:14
hi my name is Amy

i was 16 when i found i was pregnant. i had a boy and a girl in February 2007. Jody died when she was 4 month old. a month after i had the twins i found out i was pregnant with another girl. she was born 3 month early and belive me not knowing if your baby is going to live or die is the hardest thing in this world.

a month after i had Lucy i found out i was pregnant with twins boys.

having a baby at 16 is the hard and takes a lot of time. also you have to think about ur mother.

my father didnt speek to me and my mother died giving birth to my yonger brothers and sister.

i am now 19. im living with my 4 kids and as much as i love them i wished i had waited. i have money to look after them but i still is hard.

im still with the babys father but he is always working and never really see them. and im at collage and my father has to look after them when im at collage.

think about what i have said. and be really sure u still want to have the baby. i had to learn it the hard way.

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Megan wrote at 2010-11-13 06:03:06
I just had a baby 7 months ago, it's not easy. My boyfriend and I both have full time jobs both of us make a little over $12 an hour,I'm 24 and he is 31. And I'm telling u it is not all fun and games and babies are not cheap, I love my daughter to death and would do anything for her but I wasn't even ready for a baby at 24. In a month we spend $35 on diapers $90 on formula, $40 on food, $8 on wipes, god knows how much on clothes and toys not to mention the birth cost, and since your still in high school you have to figure in daycare I work 1st and my bf works 3rd so luckily we don't have to worry about that. And were are you planning on living? Have you thought about rent, heat, electricity, phone and Internet bills? I'm sorry but I have to be blunt you dumb to try and get pregnant now? And it makes me mad that you teen girls have babies and I have to take care of them with my tax $ since you can't provide for your own child! And honestly you think your boyfriend is going to stick around? 1 in 5 stay. If you feel like you need to have a baby so you have something to love you and always be there for you, just goes to show how childish and insecure you really are. Grow up! Think like an adult for two seconds since your in such a rush to be one! Think of how this is going to effect the life of this child you want to bring in to the world, especially if your boyfriend  leaves you! So stop watching sixteen and pregnant wishing it was you and how cute you think it is because it's not! You are sixteen have fun be kid before you have one. Oh and did you know if you have a baby at a younger age it is more likely to have downs syndrome. Not every baby comes out perfect! I had to deliver my baby 6 weeks early she stopped growing in my womb and was only 4.5 lbs when she was born, we are still trying to get her to catch up to where she should be. Again think before you decide if your going to go though with this.

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Lisa wrote at 2010-12-23 23:27:57
Ok I was reading this because it caught my eye and made me very concerned.  The reasons you gave are not the reasons you should.  I married my high school sweetheart, had a child and ended up divorced.  I gave up college, which I am now going back to school at 32 which is hard working full time, going to school and raising my children but it will be worth it.  My bestfriend had a child at 15 and she slowly disappeared.  She couldn't go out anymore, she ended up dropping out of school even though she swore she wouldn't.  How easy do you think it will be to get up in the morning or study when you were up all night with a baby?  At first, I thought this was a joke but honey if you are looking for something that will be yours and your boyfriends only, I have to ask, did he do something to make you feel insecure?  I remember that feeling and it was when my boyfriend betrayed me.  I know I am a little late and actually curious to find out what happened but if your still thinking about it, wait!  Babies are wonderful, when it's the right time, when your financially stable and when you know your relationship will last because going to court for child support is not fun and explaining to your children why mommy and daddy arent together and looking into their eyes when they have to go leave to visit dad or leave dad to come home is heartbreaking.  My son is 9 and it still breaks my heart

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Alexis wrote at 2011-01-02 01:08:46
Karissa,

I am 16 and pregnant and you think your mother will be there for you and she probably will but it is going to be hard to deal with you mother's disappointment in you right now for me that's the hardest thing cause i love her so much and i feel like i let her down and i was being self fish wen i got pregnant cause i was thinking about myself and my boyfriend wen we did this and not my family i already have... So wit that being said live your life to the fullest and wait to have a baby and if that boy you are wit now if yall two are really in love he will be there wen the time is right to have a baby and trust me if you have a baby now that child will not have the best like you would want him/her to have so please do me this favor and don't become a statistic like me.Don't get me wrong i am happy and in love but I'm scared for my baby.



With nothing but love,

                    ALEXIS

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Mommy3 wrote at 2011-01-09 04:20:01
Hey. I am eighteen and I am six months pregnant. I want to tell you that you really haven't thought everything through. Yes it is going to hurt...like hell. But not only that there are so many other factors. It will hurt but before you even give birth you have to worry about things. Like going to the doctor all the time, buying everything for the arrival of your new child, and making sure you are 100% healthy. And you would give up a lot of your life. What you want after you have a baby no longer matters. The only thing that does is your child. And you and your boyfriend won't always be together just because of a baby. I myself am now married to someone who is NOT the father of this child. He is her dad but he didn't make her. Sucks cause I thought him and I would be together to. Nothing ever happens the way you think it will honey. Don't do it till you know you are ready. I am still scared cause I don't know how I am gonna have the money to raise this little girl. My husband has a full time job but its so scary. And you can't ever take it back. Once you have a baby your a mommy. No getting around it. Just sit down and think. Its not worth it.

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Peru wrote at 2011-02-11 22:08:19
uhh first thing is u need to chill out gurl if i was yo moma i would wack  across yo head nd send uto ur room! u aint got no reason to be thinkin bout havein babies cus yo lil bf aint gone last long ok nd u need to get into school nd actually finish it!!! i dislike lil gurls that think they be ready to have a baby look at yo self u a baby yo self too! so if i were to be u i would tie my shoe laces right nd get a DIPLOMA A COLLAGE DEGREE ND GET A JOB when u have all of those thinmgs then ur ready to have a kid! k? so kuit spendin yo time on big adult things cus u aint even one yet... nd if u did have a baby already i garantee you that yo baby dady aint even there aight bye!

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kendraya wrote at 2011-04-03 03:32:40
im 16 and everything she is sayin is everything that relate to me i want to have a baby me an my boyfriend have been together almost a

year, but i cant seem to get pregnant, after we try i always have pains in my tummy, can someone help me an figure out my problem?

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Veronica wrote at 2011-04-06 13:24:15
Well, although I do not necessarily want to say that teen pregnancy should be encouraged, I at 16, almost 17 have gone through the stage when i wanted to have a baby with my boyfriend, the thing that stopped me was fear. I was afraid that I could not completely afford to have a baby, especially with the thought that other things could happen, "what if its twins? Could i afford to care for two babies at once?" and so on. Even with the support of my family, friends, and boyfriend, i still felt that this should be waited on.



But if this is something that you've thought trough and truly want to do, the answer is simple. First off, you need to stop simply "missing doeses" of birth control pills. It misses with your system, and even if you skip more than one dose, it can take up to a month without taking them at all for the pills to be completely out of your system. Simply skipping doeses not only messes with your hormones, but it could also be why your menstrual cycle is being late.



My recommendation is to stop your birth control completely, a method that has proven to be successful in my family is once you stop taking your birth control, start taking a prenatal vitamin, or a vitamin called "Hair, Skin, and Nails" which has most of the same type of vitamins and minerals as a prenatal vitamin itself, but the prenatal you only have to take once a day, the others you must take three times a day. After that, make sure to have intercourse often. An old wives tale that I'm not sure actually works but could possibly, is to hold your legs in the air for a few minutes after intercourse, supposedly this allows the sperm to only be able to travel up to your uterus, but as i said, its an old wives tale, I'm not quite sure if it actually works or not.



I hope this was helpful to you in some way.



Yours Truly and best of luck,

V

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Bree wrote at 2011-05-02 13:03:40
trust me. i got pregnant at the age of 16. had the baby at the age of 17. i am not 18 years old. it is not at all what you expect it to be. its rough. although i am graduating this june. life gets tough after having a child. i was with the boyfriend throughout my pregnancy but he broke up with me when i was 8 months pregnant. put so much stress on me and the baby. she was born 2 days after my due date, she had to go in the nic u because she had a tear in her lung. it was the scariest thing in my life. and still, even after my ex promised me he would still be here for me and my daughter he has not done anything to help out with her. he gives us rides here and there once in a while. but he hasnt bought her anything within the 8 months she has been living. it's sad to see but its the truth. guys may sit there and say they love you and they are ready but truth of the matter is he is not ready. no matter how much he says it. be careful. and enjoy your free time as a teenager. don't give your freedom away just yet. wait a few years. i never partied before i got pregnant and now that i had the baby i want to go out and be on my own and enjoy my freedom. yes i love my daughter with everything that i have and it feels wonderful to know she loves me too but its so stressful. things get rough, im still living with my parents. it sucks. what im trying to say is, enjoy yourself, your freedom, and be careful with the words you hear from your boyfriend. please. take my advice..

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lacey wrote at 2011-05-13 14:10:23
I'd just like to let you no I'm 16 and pregnant. And we thought we wanted a baby and I got pregnant withn two months of trying. Because of all the drama our love started to die for each other so we decided to take a break and then got back together. But before hed always say we will b together forever and believe me that man loves me more than anything. But peoples feelings change. And u can't control that. And a baby WON'T keep u together forever. I know people married for 40 yrs with 5 kids and they get a divorce because the love isn't there. I'm not saying you won't b together forever but its hard. And I had 1000 saved up and went through that on just the crib car seat all the little things not even the baby. And I thought my mom would support me but she doesn't even call me her kid anymore and is emancipating me or signing the papers for me to get married. With luck and the help of god I got our relationship to go back to normal. But we still argue becuz he can't find a job and were living off me. But he still can't tell me we will be together forever becuz he doesn't know. And btw we were together half a year too. Plus being pregnant isn't as fun as it looks believe me I'm still n my 1st trimester almost done with it but it sucks! I will tell u how u can get pregnant I just hope u look at my situation and wait 6 more months and get to no each other more. That's what both me and my bf say we wish we had waiting another 6 mnths but we don't regret the baby now. U have to stop taking ur BC completely and try to have sex 6-9 days after ur period. U have to be on the bottom and when he cums in u make sure he's deep in u and put pillows under ur butt and when ur done having sex DON'T get up It will leak out stay laying down and raise ur legs in the air for 3 mins. We did like that and we made love only on weekends that's when we saw each other and more than once a day on weekends. Just think about what ur doing becuz a kid is a lifetime commitment. Make sure ur relationship is strong and remember they take work and relationships arnt meant to b easy if that were the case everyone would b n one!  

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