AboutDan Expertise I was once an expert on Askme.com, yet because askme is going out, I feel I can help people here. I am an expert in many areas of life, so why not try to be an expert here. State your ages with questions. I do not give medical advice online
FAILURE TO INCLUDE AGES MAY RESULT IN FAILURE TO ANSWER(DECLINE QUESTION)
POST IN BEST AREA FOR YOUR QUESTION OR QUESTIONS.
Expert: Dan Date: 2/2/2008 Subject: Dan, it's Matt-->Long-time, no-talk..?
Question QUESTION: Hello Dan.. Oh my god.. I just had a lot said, stuff explained, story told, etc., and was going to send a question in a minute, and I hit something on the Keyboard, and it went to a different page and deleted ALLL I had. So instead of taking another hour or longer to re-type it all, I'll just make this quick and to-the-point.. However; please don't tell anyone, expecially NOT my mom!! I only wany who will help to know about this, *You for example*
I'm 18 and will be 19 in 10 days, and live in Indiana if you forget, and I'll be graduated from HighSchool in December I hope.. I am also in a Long-Distance Relationship with a girl who is 14 *15 in September* and lives in West Virginia and is in 8'th grade.
We met eachother through MySpace in the beginning of November 2007., She's had a rough life, and is even more mature than all the girls that I've dated that are ages 14-17. This isn't just Another-Relationship, and is actually, by-far, the BEST one that I've ever been in!!
Anyways; we've met eachother a few times, and have met some of eachother's family/friends.. Well just this week; Elizabeth was here visiting for about 10 days too.. While she was here; we had sex too though.. *More than once*..
Yes; I know that it was wrong, she's young, it IS illegal, and I can get in a lot of trouble, we still did it.. Now to top it off..? The first time we did it; she was still a Virgin, and we used " Male Protection". Afterwards; a couple day later, she bled for a couple days.. *As was expected*.. We did it again, and this time, had no protection.. Afterwards; she started getting stomach pains, tired more than usual, more mood-swings than usual, etc..
She told her mom what we did, and she didn't mind TOO much, but was dissappointed in us both, and ordered that we get a Home-Pregnancy Test to find out.. We got one, and she took it and it turned out Negative *Not Pregnant*.. Well of course; they aren't ALWAYS accurate, so she might be..
Anyways; she's still having stomach pains, some mood-swings, and cramps too.. In fact; We're almost sure that she IS Pregnant.. Perfect isn't it..?
Well; my question for you is, what exactly do we do until we find out if she is or isn't? Can you tell me what all the signs *expecially "Early Signs" of Pregnancy are*??
Also; what can she do about the cramps that we think might be Pregnancy-Cramps? She said they really hurt, and I don't know what to do..
Well; please help here, and answer this question when you're able to.. Ask me anything you like, but as I said, please don't tell my mom or anyone else.
Take care, and I hope to hear back from you.. --Matt--
ANSWER: Matt is everything OK. I haven't heard a reply from you yet. I do want to help you, yet the more information I know, the more risky it gets. Let me explain to you a little bit about the law(my understanding of it).
The law states that if someone comes here and tells me they will rob Fort Knox I would need to report this as it's a felony. So the more information you tell me with the above, the riskier it gets for me.
Right now I am in no requirement as I see to report the above to the FBI even though your actions were a federal offense. How come I am not required to report the above?
The actions already took place without my self knowing before hand. In fact who MUST REPORT IT? Depends on the state as the laws vary. I will state with the above information at this time I do not feel I am required to report this.
Yes, if this was another poster and not you, I would report this. I am giving you some leeway as you are my friend. I take Myspace offenses very seriously and more seriously when it turns out to be with a 14 year old who meets up with an adult to have dangerous intercourse.
But, because I feel there is some leeway in the law based on the above I don't need to and won't report this as a favor to you. However, if you tell me something that will happen in the future with her that violates federal laws, I may be in a stand that makes me report it.
The fact of the matter is if I don't report certain things on the internet I could be sent away to jail. And yes, the above is almost near the line. So while I do want to talk to you more about the above, I have to be extra careful to help prevent certain information from getting to me that would force me into reporting this.
I won't tell you what information not to include in future posts as by doing so I am helping bend the law and I question if this would be an offense of the law. I will state that when you post follow ups to this post, while I welcome them, be careful not to state certain things that you feel I would need to report.
About pregnancy signs, while the site does not replace a doctor I know Webmd and Yahoo Health are both good online sources.
Please ask follow ups for more help and keep me up to date.
I strongly recommend you to talk to your mother about the above and while it's OK to be very vague and keep out MOST details, she should know about the issue at hand. Why?
Don't you think she would be more mad at you later if she finds out? What would she do if out of the blue the father of this 14 year old reports this rape? The mother may be OK with this, yet it's still illegal. In fact by her not reporting this, I question if this is child neglect and in it self a violation of the law.
Not being a lawyer I won't give any legal advice. As the above is not legal advice, I do want you to know that your putting me close to the legal line that states I may need to report this in the future. While I really don't want to, the more information you give me, the more you need to be careful as I don't want my self to violate the law and end up in jail. Not reporting a future crime could be in it self a crime. I think Rhode Island law is like 5 years for such if I recall.
Please ask follow ups, but be careful.(I have to warn you of this)
Hi,
Matt I don't know what to say to you. I want to scream at you, yet that's not right for I am very worried about this girl you met. I legally cannot give any medical advice here as I'm not a doctor. Doing so could be illegal and would be in violation of my oath here. No doctor should give medical advice here. I however have a coworker who is a semi friend of mine who may be able to offer some advice. I'll email him to see if he can answer a few of the above questions if it's OK with you.
Semi friend is really vague, yet I only used him a few times and in my mind he could very well be my friend if we talked more.
Let me know if I can ask my coworker some of the above questions. Note no medical advice here replaces your doctor and no medical advice should be used without your(her's too) doctors approval.
I will state in other terms online medical advice is a bad idea, yet it's here to give you ideas to talk to your doctors about.
Please ask follow ups
P.S. I was just going to email you a birthday card. I'll do so later if I remember.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Hello again.. Sorry about the delay in messaging back, but I'm a little busy this weekend..
Okay; so as I understand-->you're not going to report this incident now, but that don't necessarily go for the future though? I can understand and relate to that; so I'm not holding anything against you.. However; I do know that you don't have to worry about this ever happening again with me and her, or me and anyone else.. Just making a mistake one time; that should never have been made in the first place, is enough for me..
While we were BOTH willing to do it, and both knew about the consequences--> is now enough to make me regret it.. I can assure everyone that knows about it now, it's never going to happen again.. I wasn't entirely sure if I could trust you not to report it, and I wasn't expecting you to, but I was hoping that I could get the chance.. It's never going to happen again though..
---------------------------------
Quote this--> what you said "But, because I feel there is some leeway in the law based on the above I don't need to and won't report this as a favor to you." Well; do you think you can allow one more favor?
Instead of pulling you or anyone else into this problem--> do you think we can just drop it here, and Elizabeth and I can take responsility for it, and deal with what happens? That way I won't be forcing you to bend the legal line, or asking you to do anything more for me?
What I'm aking you now may bother you--> but do you think you can do me this ONE-LAST favor and just try to forget this happend, being assured by MY WORD ALONE--> that I'll NEVER make the same mistake again?
You're a good friend and an even better person; and what I'm asking you here may not be good of me, but I just want to take it as it comes, to avoid causing anyone else danger..
About your co-worker and their medical-advice, no thanks--> please don't tell, I'd actually perfer that noone else knows, and her and I can take care of it..
Answer If ever you need my help, I will try to help you yet I must follow the law. I at this time feel no requirement to report the above, yet if you give me a future sign of a crime, I may be legally required to report such. As your friend I feel I have to say this. You did not state any signs of a possible future crime that I saw above, which means you gave me a small leeway to say that "I won't need to report this". I hate reporting those above cases online and I try very hard not to, but sometimes legally I must. Good news is from the above I do not need to file any report according to the understanding of the online requirement for reports on this site.
Again I feel I am not in a requirement to report the above and unless the information changes from the above, I won't. I am again here to help you if I can, yet I must be careful for there are some legal lines that I don't want to cross.
A friend of mine lost his job at a hotline for crossing the legal line one time.
