AboutDaryl Taylor, BSc(Hons) Psychology Expertise As a former youth worker, working in the UK and as a Camp Counsellor in the US, I have volunteered and helped young people from all over the world. I have worked for two or three websites like this in the past since I was about 13/14 and I continue to do so now at the age of 23. I can answer problems on a whole range of issues from friends and family, to drugs, sex, alcohol and relationships etc.
Experience I have worked as a youth worker for local organisations, volunteered on this and other websites giving out information for about 8 years, volunteered at my college and university doing face to face counselling and I have recently worked for an organisation in the UK which specialises in helping young people aged 13-19 to make positive decisions in their lives. I have featured in a UK based magazine called Aim Higher as a case study to show triumpth through adversity and I have recieved an Adult Learner's Award for my pioneering work at college.
Question I am a 16-year-old male and my girlfriend is 15 and 8 months. We both really want to have sex, however we are scared encase the condom splits. We cant say ‘Neither of us are to blame as we used protection’ because legally she us underage.
Shall we take the risk?
Is it really such a big risk?
Is it in our best interest to wait until she is 16?
Jimmy
Answer Hey there Jimmy,
Firstly, it is mature and sensible of you and your girlfriend to be talking about and in the future using condoms: not only will they protect you from Sexually Transmitted Infections, but they will also reduce the risk of pregnancy too. It is a mature decision by both of you and I think that you should be proud of yourself.
Secondly, in terms of the condom splitting, it does happen but it is unlikely. If you use the condom as instructed on the box or on the leaflet and make sure that you are gentle with it and are not wearing anything sharp, then there is no reason why it should split. Also, if you are going to be using lubricant, make sure it is the right type as some types of lubricant can put holes in the condom, but this will be mentioned on the box: ie. Do not use oil based lubricants.
In terms of should you take the risk? Well this is something that you have to decide with your girlfriend and something I cannot direct you on. I can advise you what you already know and that is that sex under the age of 16 is illegal and that sex before she does turn 16 is breaking the law. But realistically, you will do what you feel is right anyway. I do have one question though...why the rush if it's not long until she turns 16?
Breaking the law is not advisable and any crime, no matter how small, is still a crime at the end of the day. You have to, using your best knowledge and judgement, decide whether or not you think it is right to have sex with her now and the consequences of what could happen either way, if you do.
