AboutDaryl Taylor, BSc(Hons) Psychology Expertise As a former youth worker, working in the UK and as a Camp Counsellor in the US, I have volunteered and helped young people from all over the world. I have worked for two or three websites like this in the past since I was about 13/14 and I continue to do so now at the age of 23. I can answer problems on a whole range of issues from friends and family, to drugs, sex, alcohol and relationships etc.
Experience I have worked as a youth worker for local organisations, volunteered on this and other websites giving out information for about 8 years, volunteered at my college and university doing face to face counselling and I have recently worked for an organisation in the UK which specialises in helping young people aged 13-19 to make positive decisions in their lives. I have featured in a UK based magazine called Aim Higher as a case study to show triumpth through adversity and I have recieved an Adult Learner's Award for my pioneering work at college.
Question Ok well I'm 16 and I 've only had a few serious relationships in my life. For the past few months I've been single but yesterday an old ex asked me out again. I want to say yes but I'm afraid I won't be good enough for him because a few weeks after I broke up with him he got together with another girl. I don't know how far he went with her or anything and I'm really nervous about kissing him or doing anything with him in case I don't meet up to his 'expectations'.
Should I just say no and move on?
I'll appreciate any help you have to give :)
Thankyou
Answer Hey Melissa,
There are no standards to meet in a relationship except those that we set ourselves: it is usually us that think we are not going to be good enough and it is usually us that criticises our behaviour, when in reality, we do not need to.
If you like this guy and you think he likes you, regardless of how many other girls he has been with or the things he has done with them, then why not consider seeing him a couple of times and seeing what happens? You do not need to do anything that you don't want to and you should find that he doesn't have any of the expectations that you think he will have of you. If he does, then you know he's not right for you straight away.
Everyone is different in their individualness and in their experiences, it matters not if you've been with fifteen people or if you've been with none; starting a relationship isn't about knowing what to do or competing with the last person, it is about finding what is right for you.
