AboutDaryl Taylor, BSc(Hons) Psychology Expertise As a former youth worker, working in the UK and as a Camp Counsellor in the US, I have volunteered and helped young people from all over the world. I have worked for two or three websites like this in the past since I was about 13/14 and I continue to do so now at the age of 23. I can answer problems on a whole range of issues from friends and family, to drugs, sex, alcohol and relationships etc.
Experience I have worked as a youth worker for local organisations, volunteered on this and other websites giving out information for about 8 years, volunteered at my college and university doing face to face counselling and I have recently worked for an organisation in the UK which specialises in helping young people aged 13-19 to make positive decisions in their lives. I have featured in a UK based magazine called Aim Higher as a case study to show triumpth through adversity and I have recieved an Adult Learner's Award for my pioneering work at college.
Question "I am a 16 year old girl and I work at an anonymous bussiness and in my state 16 is the legal age of consent. I recently started having sexual intercourse with a guy from work who is much older, he's 24. And lately I've been confused on exactly what age of consent is...like I'm afraid of grey areas where my guy could get in trouble...which I don't want. I just kind of need an opinion based on the morals side of the situation and a little help fully understanding age of consent. Please help. Thanks, kelly."
Ps I also might be pregnant
Answer Hey Kelly,
Firstly and foremostly, if you think you maybe pregnant, no matter how unlikely you think it is, it is important that you take a test. The earlier you know, the greater the number of opportunities that you have and the easier the decisions will become. If you leave it too late and you are pregnant, it may be a greater decision and become much more difficult.
The age of consent in most cases suggests that a person is mature enough to understand the risk and processes involved with having sex with someone. For example, the age of consent is there to suggest that at 16, you are mature enough, physically and psychologically ready enough to allow yourself to enter into a sexual relationship without pressure, understanding the full consequences of your actions.
The whole area of law around the age of consent is not black and white and straight forward as it depends upon a whole range of different things. If, for example, at 16 your parents consider you not aware of the consequences of having sexual intercourse or they think you have been pressured then your partner could be questioned and possibly arrested for sex with a minor or sexual harassment. It depends entirely upon the individual, how understanding their parents are and accepting of their relationship, the age difference, the consequences of the sexual relationship (for example, pregnancy occuring) and whether or not the relationship is more than sexual.
In most cases, it is unlikely that the Police will take action against your boyfriend unless there is sufficient proof and evidence to suggest that you have been pressured into having sex or being in a relationship. As long as you were 16 when you did anything sexual and can proove this, then it is unlikely that any investigation by them will go beyond questionning. However, it will also depend upon the likelihood of your parents getting the police involved and how much they push the issue.
I think it is important that if you are happy with this guy that you both do understand that this issue may not be one that will go away until you turn 18; but, as long as you are loving and committed to each other and do not broadcast your relationship, there is no reason why it cannot work successfully.
