AboutDaryl Taylor, BSc(Hons) Psychology Expertise As a former youth worker, working in the UK and as a Camp Counsellor in the US, I have volunteered and helped young people from all over the world. I have worked for two or three websites like this in the past since I was about 13/14 and I continue to do so now at the age of 23. I can answer problems on a whole range of issues from friends and family, to drugs, sex, alcohol and relationships etc.
Experience I have worked as a youth worker for local organisations, volunteered on this and other websites giving out information for about 8 years, volunteered at my college and university doing face to face counselling and I have recently worked for an organisation in the UK which specialises in helping young people aged 13-19 to make positive decisions in their lives. I have featured in a UK based magazine called Aim Higher as a case study to show triumpth through adversity and I have recieved an Adult Learner's Award for my pioneering work at college.
Question Im almost an adult now, 17, and it seems my friends and family still consider me to be five years old. I've tried taking on more responsibility and they have yet to recognize me as a young adult. I don't know what else to do. I don't want to be the little blonde cheerleader who is dumb and needs people to make decisions for her without her consent cause apparently I'm too stupid to make them on my own!--Anyways, I don't want to do something stupid like get arrested or start having sex, to be considered an adult. Although it seems nowadays those are the only guidelines that set teens and adults apart. What else can I do? talking to them does nothing, so im stuck.
Answer Hello there Audrie,
It is a very mature and adult thing that you do want to break away from being seen as a youngster and that you do want to have more of a say in your life: a lot of young people get to 21 before they realise that they actually have to have some input about where their life is going and what they are going to do. So, by getting involved in your own future and decisions, already, you have proven yourself to be an adult.
I know it is frustrating when people talk about you as if you are not there and make decisions involving you without asking you exactly what you want to do; and in a way, this is sort of enforced by the laws that govern young people and their safety. Parental responsibility for their children, in most cases, stops at 18 because the young person is deemed to be able to make their own decisions; however, in other cases, parents can over-rule their child's decision up until the age of 21 if they deem it for their best interest. What all this means is, that although you do want to take more of an adult role in your life; you can do and should do, but you will have to try and get your parents to agree with whatever if it is that you want from a situation.
I don't believe smoking, drinking or having sex makes anyone appear or feel older, in fact, I think it is quite immature behaviour that does nothing but dent the young person's image and labells them as being a trouble maker; therefore, steer clear of all of this and again you will appear more grown up and mature.
I think it is important that if you do want to be seen as an adult that you try and take an active role in somehting that you are passionate about and care a great deal about; for example, are their any committees at school that you could sit on and represent the students? Are there any events you can take charge of and organise? Funder raisers etc? By getting involved in activities like this, you are proving you can manage your time and also manage people to get a positive outcome...it also looks good on your school record and helps anyone reading it to distinguish you from others.
There is no one thing you can do to try and be more adult; other than through your behaviour and personality. Ask your parents to consult you in their decision making regarding you and if you disagree, put your point across like an adult. Be polite, get your work done on time and start reading the newspapers to keep up to date with topics of conversation and see if this helps.
