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About Daryl Taylor, BSc(Hons) Psychology
Expertise
As a former youth worker, working in the UK and as a Camp Counsellor in the US, I have volunteered and helped young people from all over the world. I have worked for two or three websites like this in the past since I was about 13/14 and I continue to do so now at the age of 23. I can answer problems on a whole range of issues from friends and family, to drugs, sex, alcohol and relationships etc.
Experience
I have worked as a youth worker for local organisations, volunteered on this and other websites giving out information for about 8 years, volunteered at my college and university doing face to face counselling and I have recently worked for an organisation in the UK which specialises in helping young people aged 13-19 to make positive decisions in their lives. I have featured in a UK based magazine called Aim Higher as a case study to show triumpth through adversity and I have recieved an Adult Learner's Award for my pioneering work at college.
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You are here: Experts > Teens > Teen Advice > Teenage Problems > School
Expert: Daryl Taylor, BSc(Hons) Psychology
Date: 5/13/2008
Subject: School
Question
Hi.
I'm 17 years old, and currently a junior in high school.
My entire life I've been fantastic at school. All through elementary school I don't believe I ever lifted a finger. I don't even remember this, but apparently the school wanted to skip me ahead a grade, but I refused (worst decision ever). I was always known as the smart kid, and everyday I'd be whisked away into special higher learning pods. I can remember them all, too. One thing I know for sure is I hated school from the very beginning. I can remember one instance in the 6th grade where I went a little mental and faked sick for an entire week. Anyway, things changed a lot for me the next few years. I lost everything I had, and I had trouble at home. My 9th grade year was probably the worst of my life, but I started to bounce back the next year. From 10th grade to the present I've taken (and done pretty well in) a full schedule of college (AP) classes. The problem is, this year I've missed in excess of 15 days. I figure any type of obligation (school, work, etc) isn't so bad if you've got a lot of good people surrounding you. I'm not saying I don't have any friends, but I'm kind of a pretty big introvert to begin with, and sometimes it's hard for me to relate with people. I'll mostly be friends with anyone normal enough, which includes all of the 50 people in my school who don't aren't carrying a gun, fighting in the hallway, or come to school drunk. I'm not being dumb about it, either. I'm just saying it starts to suck when you're walking in the hall like a big ignorant moron and about a million people decide to start killing each other right in front of you. What I'm getting at is that even if I liked school, I would still hate going to *that* school.
I guess the main reason I skip school so much is really simple. I just like being alone, and having stretching room / free time. I don't get a big thrill out of skipping or anything. I just feel so much more normal when I don't go. The thing is, my schoolwork isn't really affected. It's dumb because I actually like doing homework, and being industrious in general. I even get a big nerdy thrill out of my math homework. All I can say is that going to school is uncomfortable as hell.
All of that said, I feel really bad whenever I skip. Everyone I know can go to school like it's no big deal. It just makes me feel really dumb and lazy even though I'm about a million times more productive than half the people I know. I like people, I like friends, and I like learning... yet I struggle to complete a 5 day week. Sometimes I just feel like I'm on a completely different wavelength than my life. Nothing matches up where it should. In addition to school my parents make me have a part time job for no real reason. I swear, if they had their way I'd go to community college or something. They have no ambition for me whatsoever, plus I never really talk to them. The insane part is, my part time job screws up my schoolwork all the time.
No matter how bad I feel about skipping school, I can't think of one even remotely solid reason of why I shouldn't do it. Any time I miss school I just spend time alone, doing homework, or something really low-key. This entire thing makes me sound really psychotic, but anyone who knows me would say I'm really normal, and I have the myspace to prove it, haha.
So. In your opinion, is missing so much school a problem?
Answer
Hey there Emily,
Firstly, I do not think that there is anything psychologically wrong with you and I certainly do not believe that you are psychotic. On the contrary, you come across from your email as being a very bright and intelligent young person who is just bored at school because you are not being pushed. When school is becoming a bore and you're not enjoying it, of course you are not going to want to go. But as you have mentioned, when other things such as the negative behaviours in and around your school make you feel uncomfortable, then you are just as unlikely to not want to go. Part of the problem could be the school and its lack of discipline and control; but perhaps, from reading your problem, the biggest problem is that you do not just see the point of going to school when you are succeeding anyway at home on your own.
Emily, you will find that a lot of bright young people are completely different from their peers and that in fact, the majority of them struggle to get on with people in their peer group because of the difference in maturity levels. A lot of bright young people find it easier to talk to adults or work on their own because they feel like they are actually having a decent conversation and contributing something intelligent. What I am trying to say is that what you are going through is not abnormal, but rather normal for someone of your capability.
But with all that said, love it or hate it, school is an important part of your life and believe it or not, when you leave, you may actually miss it and the security having a routine like that brings. I think it is important that you do continue to go to school, but more importantly that you talk with the school to address the reasons why you have not been going in to get you engaged in your school work.
Two weeks off school is a long time but it does not necessarily mean you are going to detriment yourself in anyway. However, if this keeps on occuring, you may end up putting yourself at a disadvantage and end up coming off worse in tests. School can tell you exactly what to study, what you need to understand and how you need to answer questions...things you may not know or realise by yourself.
So as it stands, as long as your work hasn't suffered then don't worry about the days you have had off already, just make sure you catch up and make sure you keep going from now on and hopefully, things will work out well for you.
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