AboutDaryl Taylor, BSc(Hons) Psychology Expertise As a former youth worker, working in the UK and as a Camp Counsellor in the US, I have volunteered and helped young people from all over the world. I have worked for two or three websites like this in the past since I was about 13/14 and I continue to do so now at the age of 23. I can answer problems on a whole range of issues from friends and family, to drugs, sex, alcohol and relationships etc.
Experience I have worked as a youth worker for local organisations, volunteered on this and other websites giving out information for about 8 years, volunteered at my college and university doing face to face counselling and I have recently worked for an organisation in the UK which specialises in helping young people aged 13-19 to make positive decisions in their lives. I have featured in a UK based magazine called Aim Higher as a case study to show triumpth through adversity and I have recieved an Adult Learner's Award for my pioneering work at college.
Question well im 15 my gf is 16. im a virgen.and we would argue about the dummest stuff and make up we have a serious realation ship..and we would brake up and get bbaq 2gether on and off,,right now we are not really together,we have messed around in bed done almost evry thing but have sex. she says she wants me to be her first! and we love eachother!!,. well she says!... there is alot of rumors going around saying that her and this guy have been having sex behind my baq! ever since summer started!. and we have been arguing about her doing that. she says its not true she claims to be a virgen and that none of it is true. and i dont really belive her because she has kissed the same guy that they say that she had sex with! she kissed him kuz she says i treated her bad! and i agree with her. but now ive changed and trying to make it work with her! but i dont think she is a virgen! how do i know if she is or not!????
HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEE PLEEAASSSSS!!
thankyou.
sorry for the miss spelling
Answer Hey there Johnny,
If you really want to make things work with this girl, the best thing you can do is start ignoring what people are saying about this girl and start listening to what she has to say. Trust is a big thing in a relationship and although it does not necessarily come straight away, it has to be earned, but you need to make sure that if you are going to have sex with her that you trust her and believe what she tells you; otherwise, any chance of a real relationship will be doomed from the start because you will always be worrying about what she is doing behind your back and who she is doing it with.
Just because she kissed this guy, it doesn't mean she had sex with him...rumours are nasty things and girls particularly can be incredibly jealous and bitchy, so spread them quite a lot. I think you need to look at your girlfriend and think about whether or not you believe her and if you don't, ask yourself what you are really doing with her in the first place.
There is no rush to lose your virginity and just because you and this girl have been doing everything but sex, it doesn't mean that she has to be the one to take your virginity just because you are nearly there already. If you do not think the she is as in to you as you are into her, then why let her take your virginity, something which you will never get back and make something that should be special not so.
If this girl has been sleeping around and without a condom and you do decide to have sex with her, make sure you do use a condom or you could end up with a Sexually Transmitted Infection which is not a nice thing to have.
In terms of how do you know if she is a virgin or not, there is no real test as such (well not unless you're a doctor), you just have to believe her. It could be that she has been with a lot of guys but not had sex with any of them because she could actually be quite shy...but you will only get to know this by asking her, letting her speak and thinking about what she is saying. If you genuinely want things to work you will listen to her and give her the benefit of the doubt that she has not slept with other guys...but then if you look at where the information is coming from, would those people have cause to lie?
