AboutDaryl Taylor, BSc(Hons) Psychology Expertise As a former youth worker, working in the UK and as a Camp Counsellor in the US, I have volunteered and helped young people from all over the world. I have worked for two or three websites like this in the past since I was about 13/14 and I continue to do so now at the age of 23. I can answer problems on a whole range of issues from friends and family, to drugs, sex, alcohol and relationships etc.
Experience I have worked as a youth worker for local organisations, volunteered on this and other websites giving out information for about 8 years, volunteered at my college and university doing face to face counselling and I have recently worked for an organisation in the UK which specialises in helping young people aged 13-19 to make positive decisions in their lives. I have featured in a UK based magazine called Aim Higher as a case study to show triumpth through adversity and I have recieved an Adult Learner's Award for my pioneering work at college.
Question hello sir, i am 21 year male from india. i have a problem, that is i am not able to control masturbating. even i am also sportsman, but not really able to concentrate in sports. when i was in small (age of some 10 or 11yrs old) i came to know abt sex and all and seen adult film. it happened by mistake, thats i didn't wanted but it was there in my home so i was forced to see it. but later on i tried to behave good but that small age impact making me worse. every time i used to stop masturbating but after few days i'll get addicted to it. please help me how can i stop this habit? even i don't want by heart but mind is going behind to it. because of this my sports carrier also getting spoiled. how can over come all this trouble? if i want to keep my mind pure, wat r the things i should follow? and also because of my mistakes whether my sports carrier will affect? and also i wanted to know whether sex relationship will affect sports carrier? (i didn't have any sex relationship) pls advice me and pls help me to avoid this? thank you...
Answer Hey Rajesh,
Thank you for taking the time to write to me and to share your problem with me. I am sorry for the delay in getting back to you and I usually aim to get back to people within about 72 hours. So let me appologise for your wait and thank you for your patience.
Firstly, let me reassure you that there is nothing wrong with masturbating and it will not affect your health, your sex life or your body in anyway. Most people, male and female, masturbate and it is a perfectly normal way of self-discovery and finding pleasure...for young men, masturbation is also a good way of releasing tension and stress. The only time masturbation becomes a problem is when it is beginning to take over your life and when it takes time away from everything else. Everything is good is moderation and masturbation is the same.
It is good that you play a lot of sports and it is very positive that you are thinking about your career as a sportsman; and if masturbation is coming in the way of this, then it does need to be limited or stopped...but it's not easy and you will have to stick at it.
In terms of will a sexual relationship affect your sporting performance...the answer is no, although some sportsmen refuse to have sex before a match, game or fight because they believe it drains them of energy...but medically, there is no evidence to suggest this.
Back to masturbation, I think there a few things that you need to do to help yourself:
1) Firstly, understand that masturbation is a normal behaviour for young men and although some cultures and religions suggest it is bad for you, it actually has been proven to be good for you by reducing prostate cancer risk when you get older.
2) Limit the number of times you masturbate to one every three days. Have on final masturbation session and then do not have another one for three days and keep up this pattern. It will be difficult, but when you feel the need to masturbate, think of something unpleasant or go somewhere where there is a lot of people so you cannot get the opportunity. In the shower or whenever you are naked, do not touch your penis more than necessary and if you do find that you are becoming aroused, again, think of something that will put you off.
3) Some guys masturbate to relieve tension but if you are playing sport, you already have a way of relieving this tension by playing a sport. If you feel the need to masturbate, do some exercise, go for a run or a walk or just get yourself out of the house. Use the urge to masturbate to prompt you into doing something that needs doing so you do not do it...for example, cleaning your room etc.
4) Get into a routine whereby you do masturbate but that you have a specific time of the night where you will not be disturbed and where you have privacy. Doing this will help you to realise when it is approrpiate and when isn't to do this.
5) Remove any pornography or adult videos you may have so you are not tempted to view them...or put them out of the way so you cannot easily see them unless you really look for them.
6) Understand that although masturbation is a good thing, it is not as good as a relationship or your sports...both of which should take priority.
