AboutDaryl Taylor, BSc(Hons) Psychology Expertise As a former youth worker, working in the UK and as a Camp Counsellor in the US, I have volunteered and helped young people from all over the world. I have worked for two or three websites like this in the past since I was about 13/14 and I continue to do so now at the age of 23. I can answer problems on a whole range of issues from friends and family, to drugs, sex, alcohol and relationships etc.
Experience I have worked as a youth worker for local organisations, volunteered on this and other websites giving out information for about 8 years, volunteered at my college and university doing face to face counselling and I have recently worked for an organisation in the UK which specialises in helping young people aged 13-19 to make positive decisions in their lives. I have featured in a UK based magazine called Aim Higher as a case study to show triumpth through adversity and I have recieved an Adult Learner's Award for my pioneering work at college.
Question well,it has been nearly year and a half since we both are best friend.i developed a crush at first sight and love followed.she became a best friend of mine.now when i told her about this,she already is committed to someone.what can i do to make her feel tat I'm better than d guy she is in relation with ? I'm depressed can you tell something about bursting my dpression ?
Answer Hello there Manas,
Thank you for taking the time to write to me and share your problems with me...I hope I can help.
Firstly, it is common when we get so close to a member of the opposite sex that we end up having so much in common that it just seems right that we should get together; but in the case of when this occurs with our best friends, it rarely works out for the best. Being someone's friend is one thing, but then making that leap from best friend to partner is a big jump and sometimes it can break up a lifelong friendship because both of the people want different things. I think it is important that you understand the feelings you are having are normal and that you may, if things do not work out, end up with this girl as just a friend and nothing more...but that is still something positive and at least you will still have her in your life.
This girl and you are friends because of who you are already, not who she thinks you are...so there is no need for you to try and prove anything to her or to show her that you are better than this other guy...you already are better than him because you are closer to her than he will ever get. Best friends are so open and honest with each other, in relationships this is rarely the case...so I would avoid trying to make her pick you or him...because you may not like the choice she makes.
Depression can be a severe mental illness that affects our lives and our health. It can be mild, moderate or severe and can last from a couple of days to years. Most people go through a phase of sadness at sometimes in their lives, but this is not depression; it is just a low point in mood and although the two are very similar...the consequences of having depression are incredibly different. If you think that you are suffering from depression; if you are not sleeping well, eating well or you are not able to concentrate, then it is important that you do go and seek the advice of a medical professional who may be able to help you...either by getting someone to help you with your thoughts or, if needs be, prescribing some medication. It is unlikely that things with your sadness will be that severe and it is more likely brought on by all the stress of being around this girl...so the main thing you can really do is just to stop thinking about the relationship you may never have and think about the friendship you have...if you don't, you will end up depressed and this girl may start to withdraw from talking to you at all and you don't want that.
