AboutDonna K Expertise I can answer all questions regarding teen issues. problems with family, peer pressure, sex, masturbation, dating, and even nudism and naturist issues. I have been helping people with these matters for years and will be happy to assist you with whatever question you may have. I will never judge you. I am an open minded individual and I accept all people for who they are.
Experience Mom of two teens who has dealt with every issue when it comes to teenagers. I have also gone to college and have my degree in human sexuality.
Expert: Donna K Date: 6/6/2008 Subject: Me being myself
Question QUESTION: Hi there, I am a 17 year old daughter of a controlling mother. Recently, I asked my mom if I could dye my bangs dark green, and the rest of my hair black, and she refuses to let me be me, and express my inner self. She thinks I am being influenced by my friends, and am doing whatever other people are doing as a way of fitting it. How can I get her to understand I am trying to be myself? Apart from that, she thinks the idea of me being Goth is wrong. How can I change her mind? Thanks
ANSWER: Hi Shayda,
First off I just wanted to say I think you have a really pretty name. there is no easy answer to this or any real way to get your mom to conform to your lifestyle. personally I don't see anything wrong with what you are doing. you are not harming anyone. the only thing that I can suggest is to continue to be yourself and remember that deep down, no matter who or what you decide to become later on, your mom is always going to love you. don't worry sooner or later she will accept the choices that you make.
if you have any other questions please feel free to look at my profile and send me a follow up or a new question.
_Donna
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QUESTION: Thank you Donna! I like my name too! :) Well I was just wondering how can she judge Goths and say they are bad when she knows they are not? Or is she just fearing for my own personal safety? Thanks again. You are wonderful.
Answer it sounds as if she is concerned for your safety. I myself am a wiccan and I know what it is that you are going through as far as people thinking that we are bad. the thing to do is to make them see that you are not. try explaining to your mom that the clothes that you wear or the color of your hair does not decide if you are a bad person or not. it is the things that you do with the gifts that life give you that define who you are.
don't change who you are or what you want to be to make someone else happy...in doing so, you yourself would never be happy then. I urge you to continue to live your life the way that you see fit. there is something that I would like to share with you before I end this answer. I don't know what your knowledge is in wiccan or pagan but we have something called the "rede" it's kind of a main rule for us and it goes something like this:
"harm none, do as thou will."
well that's not the whole thing of course, but that one line is one that I try to do everyday. the reason I told it to you is because of your current situation. you are not harming anyone so do as you will...understand?
I hope this helps you and of course you can always write back to me anytime. just bookmark my profile on here or something.
