AboutLouise Expertise I can answer a variety of questions. I am not a fortune teller so I can not of course predict the future. I can however make an educated guess based on information received and from past experiences.
Experience I've been married for 18 years and I have three teenagers. One daughter and 2 sons. We've dealt with a variety of issues universal to most teens.
Education/Credentials Life that is an experience the ride is not always smooth but if you fall down you get back up and dust yourself off and do it all over again.
Expert: Louise Date: 7/20/2008 Subject: 20 year old son
Question Hi,
I am a single mom of a 20 year old son. He is in college at a community college and is not living in an apartment near the college (about 15 miles from me). He recently got into some trouble with the law and was convicted of a felony for carrying a controlled substance (a prescription drug called Zanax - its an anti-anxiety prescription). He told me that his roommate gave him the pill and said to take it when you are drinking. How stupid can these kids be!!! Well, its a felony to have this drug if its not your prescription so my son was charged with a felony. I just want to get your opinion of this issue. I am going to help get my son out of jail and help him through this issue. I feel like this is what I want to do. I feel like everyone thinks I should just be tough about it but when I went to see him in jail, he was crying. What do you think? Thanks.
Answer Hi Peggy,
Well as a parent I can understand your dilemma....No parent wants to be told by others that their parenting is wrong or how they choose to deal with certain situations that arise is wrong......
However, sometimes we have to focus on the bigger picture....
For instance you are a single mom and have a 20 year old son so I assume he's an only child......You have to consider if you are handling the situation the way you are because he has always been a good son and after 19 years of following the rules made a mistake OR Has he always got into trouble here and there but as a single parent he is not only your son but also a friend and you have a bond that you don't want to ruin......
I don't know you or your son BUT I do know that once teens hit college they have this type of anything goes attitude especially once they leave home........At 20 he is no longer a child or even a teen for that matter....He has a future he needs to think about you may think ok I bailed him out he learned his lesson but has he? Are you going to bail him out each time he gets into a jam? Actions have consequences....
I know that I hate seeing any of my kids in tears BUT I also know my kids know this too they pull on my heartstrings and I give in....At times except when their actions if left unchecked could cause them harm or harm to others....
Your son is your child but he isn't a child himself he is a young man.
He needs to be held accountable for his actions he could have killed himself or another person or another family if he was driving while intoxicated or high on drugs whether it be this drug or any other drug.....
I'd rather have my child alive and angry with me for awhile rather than not having them in my life at all because they were no longer alive.........
Your son will be 21 soon and he will be able to buy whatever type of alcoholic drink he wants to if he is going to drink he needs to do so responsibly. OR he could be behind bars once again......Next time though the situation could be much worse.....
