AboutDr. Jerry Martin Jr. Expertise I will be able to answer any questions in general relation family and children issues. I will not advise or provide any information regards medication because I am not a medical doctor.
Experience I worked with at-risk teenagers and I enjoy worked with them with developing possible effective solutions. I strongly believed that every problem can be solved with a positive attitude.
Organizations Certified Member of American Psychological Association -and a Fellow Member of International Society of Counsellors
Education/Credentials I currently holds BA, MA, and Ed.D. degrees in fields of social work, psychology and family therapy. I have vast experience working with the young children and teenagers in the past 20 years.
Awards and Honors I received numberous awards from state and regional agencies for excellent community service to the youth and families in the past 12 years.
Question QUESTION: Our daughter lives with us, she has continued to choose friends that aren't going down the right street. She is not a bad person but makes bad decisions. She is a follower not a leader. She went to com college for 3 semesters and decided it's not for her. She got in trouble about 3 months ago for possession of pot. One of the other girls with her has stolen from her, lied to her,and used her, but she still goes back to her for friendship. We are concerned that she is going to get in worse trouble next time. We pay for her cell phone, auto ins, lend her money and provide health ins. We are thinking about taking things away from her if she continues to hang with these bad friends. We are concerned she may leave and things could get even worse if we are not in her life. But right now, she does what she wants, so we think nothing is going to change unless we push the issue. Do we give her an alternative or just be there for her and hope for the best?
ANSWER: Hi Steve,
I am sorry about your daughter's situation. If it were me, I would give her hard choices, she is not a child, she is an adult, she needs to face her own consequences for her own actions.
I stress, do not spoil her and allow her to do these things while she is in your care. She needs to learn to pay her own bills, it is okay to help some, but not to pay for everything. How can she learn responsibility, if you take care of her?
She needs to find a job and it will help her to stay out of trouble and earn money for living so she can move out to live her own place if possible.
Good luck and you have a wonderful day.
Doc Jerry
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QUESTION: Sorry Doc, not enough room for the full story. She does work full time and she pays us back for car repairs and certain other items. She was a full time student and then stopped in 01/08. She intends to go to a trade school in the fall. So she doesn't just sit around, she does work and pays some bills. She does for the most part rely on us for all the basics. Our concern is she is very hard headed and if we come down hard on her, she may leave and without us around, she could get in worse trouble. She does not ask for money. If she were to leave and something happen, it would destroy my wife and I. My wife lost a son when he was 8 and she is very concerned over this situation.
Answer Hi Steve,
Thank you for your further information, it gave me a better picture about your daughter. It seems that you and your wife are doing well by providing her basics. I truly understand your concerns about what if something happen with her if she choose to leave. I do agree with you.
My suggestion to wait things out until she is back in trade school and see what happens, if it does not improve by then, you need to remind her gently to be more responsible woman and if she gets into trouble, she will have to deal with it at her own. As I stated from previous question. She needs to face her own consequences for her own behavior(s).
