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You are here: Experts > Teens > Teen Advice > Teenage Problems > 12yr old daughter.
Expert: Dan - 10/30/2009
Question
QUESTION: Hi,
My wife and I are currently having trouble with our 12yr old daughter. Well she is my step daughter. She is having problems turning in her homework and discipline doesn't seem to help or phase her what so ever. She is spoiled rotten. Her and I have had issues like most step dad/daughters do. This has been an ongoing thing over the last 2 to 3 years. We have tried everything and nothing seems to work. Took stuff away that was important to her, grounded her, you name it. We are at a loss right now. She won't turn in her homework all the time, and now we are trying to make her do it and turn it in even if it is late and she won't get any points for doing it. Can you please help if you can? It would be very much appreciated. Thanks in advance.
ANSWER: Hi,
List your state. Also can I recommend Parenting Teen expert James Windell here. Also can I ask her hobbies and also have you talked to her doctor?
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Hi,
State is Missouri. Her hobbies include, drawing, listening to music, typical 12 yr old stuff, I guess. Playing softball and soccer. No we haven't talked to her doctor. Why?
Answer
Hi,
Does she still see her biological father? Was it a bad divorce? When did it happen? Did she like the fact that her mother married you? Do you have a good relationship with her on average?
I don't want to jump right in and say what I think, but a possible is some type of "depression". This is very common and some signs you posted above, could hint to someone that it is depression. The word depression is thrown away, so I don't want to right away say it's depression, but I must ask that you see her doctor and have them test her. If it is, treatment is out there. If it's not, your doctor can hint at other things.
I don't want to get too much into this as it's tricky, but you can use "art" to help repair her homework issues. It depends on exactly the subject, but art can help you connect her to her class work. We can talk more about this, but her school can also help.
Please ask follow ups
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