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About Jonathan
Expertise
I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.

Experience
I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).

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Teenage Problems - Teenager

Expert: Jonathan - 10/28/2009

Question
"My wife has a 14yr old brother and all he wants to do is play computer games in
game outlets and eats alot. He lives with his elder sister who is acting as mum
but cannot get him to do anything constructive. If you ask him to do anything he
is reluctant but if you ask him what he wants to do to be moore active he
dosen't know what he wants. He is putting on alot of weight and says he wants to
go to the gym but do he dosen't like walking which is equally good for him. You
can't tell him anything as he goes funny like miserable he is only happy doing
his games. What can we do to make him realise this is not the way to become a
well balanced citizen when he gets older."

Answer
He needs to have his money supply cut off. In game outlets there is plenty of junk food available and its become so easy today to not eat at home much anymore. So naturally he is on the way to becoming an obese adult. And he will probably lose out on a lot. It will be difficult for him to meet girls and have friends and play any sports. He needs money to play games and eat so thats a first step. The second is to take him to a doctor and have his level of cholesterol and lipids checked and see how much he has in his blood. since he is young he can turn this around but not by eating out. He needs to avoid any fast food outlets completely and any packaged food. he nneds to be eating fruits and vegetables and drink skim or fat free milk only. No sugar soda and no sugary drinks. He needs very little red meat and should probably be given chicken and turkey and avoid any fish because of the mercury content. Pregnant women and kids under 16 should not be eating any fish because of the mercury in the fish flesh. Not to mention the PCB's and pesticides and herbicides and fungicides in fish (freshwater or ocean). He may need to be seen by a psychologist and see one regularly to change his behavior and he is avoiding social interaction by staying glued to computer games which avoid all humnan contact. He also needs to have some sort of religious training and should join a youth fellowship and go to their meetings. As far a gym goes if he joins one he may not continue with it so he should join a contract menmbership where they debit a credit card or bank account each month and do not allow you to get out of the deal. If you have a YMCA he can join their membership but only if he or his sister can discontinue it without penalty at any time. A lot of people join gyms with well meaning intentions but soon stop going and so lose their money. He needs to walk at least one hour each day in spite of the fact that he does not like to walk. Running is hard on the joints unless you are on a cinder track or a grassy field. Walking will not harm ones joints. He may benefit mostly from all avoidance of fast food including NO DEEP FRIED FOOD of any kind. For snacks he should only have skim or fat free milk. He neeeds a scale of his own and needs to use it each day so things do not get out of hand. If he has no hobbies then he needs to develop some . Perhaps a school art class is what he needs. If possible he should be started on the game of tennis and given some lessons by a tennis pro so he does not develop any bad habits. A tennis pro can be found by contacting any country club or school tennis coach. Yes it will cost some money but his health is at risk. He needs a quality tennis racket and quality tennis balls but the pro can teach him that. He needs to spend many hours at a tennis court and if weather is bad there are often indoor tennis courts as well. This is a game he can contimnue to play into old age unlike most high school sports. I hope this gives you a few ideas.

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