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You are here: Experts > Teens > Teen Advice > Teenage Problems > i think my boyfriend is cheating on me
Teenage Problems - i think my boyfriend is cheating on me
Expert: Kate Stratford - 10/26/2009
Question
QUESTION: my boyfriend and I have been dating since the 8th grade. we are now about to graduate high school in 8 months. our relationship is very serious and I know we will be together after high school. we took eachothers virginity, gave eachother our first kiss, and I was his first girlfriend. we've never been with anyone else besides eachother, and im pretty confident that within the next 3 years we will be married.
lately a lot of people have been telling me that he flirts with a lot of girls which is unlike him. also, there is this one girl named maya that so many people keep telling me about. iv've even heard that they were secretly seeing eachother. he denies it all and he acts very upset about the situation, but for some reason I believe it because numerous amounts of people have been telling me about this, even some of my closest friends. I don't know what to do, and if this is true, I don't understand why he would do this now when we're about to graduate high school and start our life together. I really do think these rumors are true so should I break up with my boyfriend of 4 years, or stay with him on account of we're about to graduate and after that he won't see this maya girl anymore because she's an under classman?? I need an answer, im an emotional wreck!
ANSWER: Hi Morgan,
I think it would be wrong of you to break up with your boyfriend just because of gossip.
Unless you have proper proof that your boyfriend is cheating on you i would not risk losing a relationship that you have both worked so hard on.
Hearing people talk about this all the time will make you doubt your boyfriend but the best advice i can offer is for you to have a conversation with him about this. Let him know that you love and trust him but with so many people telling you about his relationship with Maya you are starting to doubt yourself. Ask him upfront. You will know if he is lying.
The only problem i have in this relationship is that you are losing trust in him. Relationships do not work if there is no trust. You need to work out how you feel about your boyfriend, if you think he would cheat on you or if you think that the doubts you have are based soley on other peoples views.
I hope this helps. Let me know if you need any further advice.
Take care,
Kate :-)
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: the past few days my bofriend and I have been talking a lot and he confessed, he was cheating on me with maya all along...he says he will lose contact with her and he wants to continue being with me but I don't know if I should on account of he kept this from me for so long. what should I do?
Answer
Hi Morgan,
I'm really sorry to hear that.
I can't really tell you what to do in this situation as it is entirely up to you.
This is a tricky situation because not only has he cheated on you but he has been doing this for a while. If it were just a one night stand it would be easier to deal with as these mistakes do happen. So here are my suggestions.
First of all, do not stay with him if you cannot truly forgive him. There is not point being in a relationship with someone who you will always be angry with and do not trust.
Secondly, make sure you give yourself time away from your boyfriend for a while to think about how you feel. It is important that you are sure of the choice you are going to make.
And thirdly, if you do decide to take him back, let him know that if it ever happens again that will be it. And stick to your word! Do not be a doormat.
I have to say that if i were in your position i would find it hard to get over the lies. One lie is enough to break a relationship but he has been lying to you for a while. I would seriously consider whether this kind of thing is likely to happen in the future.
I really hope this helps, please come back if i can be of any further assistance.
Take care and good luck,
Kate :-)
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