AboutJonathan Expertise I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.
Experience I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).
Question Hi Jonny,
so im like 17, and i'm a pretty attractive girl. And all the boys at my school all try to get with me at parties, which is cool with me coz it shows everyone else how hot i am. anyways like lately at parties the boys who hook up with me have been putting the hands down my pants...ok so normally that would be cool but they keep going for the wrong hole. the weird thing is i know it cant be an accident coz quite a few boys have done it. At first i didnt really like it but it began to feel good. and now i really like it when boys finger my bumhole, i even do it to myself before i got to sleep. is something wrong with me?
xx
Answer Hi Bec, this is no way to be popular with boys. These boys may have watched some porn and are imitating it. Or they are trying to see how far they can get with you. This is unsanitary of course and its not something they should be doing in front of others. Boys and girls will do a lot of things in private they would not tell anyone about. They may be sharing stories about you. These same boys may be trying to see if they can get you to have sex with them and perhaps anal sex. There is nothing wrong with you. Kids especially are curious about their bodies. Kids will do a lot of things they would never mention to even their best friend. A lot of this has to do with the easy accessibility to porn on the internet. None of it involves relationships or love. Sex is not love and love is not sex. They are not the same. Boys and girls look at each of these quite differently as well. Boys may pretend they want a relationship when thats only the excuse to have sex with a girl.
