AboutJonathan Expertise I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.
Experience I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).
I'm 13 and having a lot of guilt issues and maybe even depressed. A little while ago, I watched porn, and
watched it 4 or 5 times over the time span of a couple months. As I am a Christian, I feel really bad about this
and think it's wrong. I know it's okay to be curious about these kinds of things at my age, but I totally don't
feel right with this on my conscience. I have stopped watching it and will NEVER watch it again. I don't want
to tell my parents (even though I have considered telling them a couple times) because I feel like their outlook
on this issue will be unforgiving and/or untrustworthy of my future actions with my laptop. I have also
considered telling my best friend, but I also feel like she would tell others and get me in trouble. I don't know
what to do, and I have all these bad and mixed feelings about myself swimming around in my brain.
Also, a non-related issue is that my mom has cancer and has had it for a while. Because the treatment affects
her a lot, she can get pretty angry at me, and I will definitely have my share of anger towards her. I feel bad
about getting angry with her, because she always seems scared of me and not wanting to have a conversation
with me. She tells me many times that she thinks that I have "disdain" for her and no appreciation. She also
thinks it would be good for me to get a shrink BECAUSE of the fact that I get so mad at her. Meanwhile, she
loves my perfect 16 year old sister who shows the right emotion at the right time and is so nice to my mom. I
don't really feel THAT comfortable talking to my mom about things, but I know she is my mother. Am I not an
open person?
I'm sorry for rambling on about so many things, but I just am feeling really sad and weird at the moment, and
need someone to talk to.
Thanks,
Penny
Answer Hi Penny, Forget the guilt feelings. You and a million others have watched porn and its not hard to come across it. It used to be relatively controlled but no longer. Of course all people are curious and especially young people. You are probably right in not telling your parents or best friends since things often get blown way out of proportion and rumours start. Since you have vowed to never do this again and are a christian it is between you and Jesus Christ. No one else need be involved. If you rememebr from the bible if we confess our sisn he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. we have the assurance that we are forgiven because God cannot lie and God cannot break a promise. Sometimes if we tell others what is on our minds or reveal something about ourselves the person we talk to uses it against us. This is a problem of course, the Dean of the Harvard Divinity School had to resign when he asked two students to transfer some files from one computer to another one he bought. They found hundreds of porn sites on his computer and let others know about it. So pastors and ministers are not immune either. Look at the scandal in the catholic church. The priests and the altar boys , it has probably been going on for centuries. Its nothing new. If a kid dared to say to his parents that Father ___ made me do this or Father --- did this to me, you can be sure it would be met with a slap on his face for daring to say such a thing about the parish priest. About your mom getting angry at you, well its good you are able to express your own anger. Its never good to bottle up your anger inside and pretend to not be angry. She seems bent on trying to make you feel guilty by saying you have disdain for her. I think I would also have disdain for someone like that. Parents all have a favorite child even if they say they do not. You do not need to see a psychiatrist unless you are beset with a depression that interferes with your ability to function in everyday life. Things like not being able to groom oneself and losing all interest in activities you once enjoyed , having thoughts of suicide and of feeling worhless and withdrawing unto one self are all signs of depression. There are many others. If you have any other concerns feel free to ask a followup question.
