AboutJonathan Expertise I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.
Experience I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).
Question Hello I am a 17 year old girl coming up to my senior year of
high school on September 1st. My main question is that I
need help, or somewhere to look to see what I can do with my
life. I use to have meaning but I feel I've pretty much lost
it. I would always be there for my best friend, she has
always been very shy, but finally last year she has found a
great guy and he has been taking very good care of her. But
in doing so, she spends a lot of time with him and I am
pretty much no longer needed. I am so glad of what he has
done and I've been wanting to thank him but I haven't got
the courage to tell him how much what he has done means to
me. I have never seen her more happy. But without me having
to help her I really feel like I'm unneeded. For the past
four or so summers I have broken up and went back out with a
guy. He told me a lot that he wanted to kiss and I knew he
had already been with other girls in bed, but I wasn't that
type so eventually the pressure just got to much and I would
break up with him..over and over again. He never knew why
until recently. But since I have been going out with a
different guy and when I mentioned his name, my ex freaked
out and won't talk to me since. The last time he stopped
talking to me I went out of my mind and didn't get him back
as a friend until I approached him and literally begged him
to take me back in his life. I constantly worry about him
because he has went suicidal over me before. Not good people
to be around I know but I really care for him, I just don't
love him. So right now I am very stressed. I am constantly
worrying about his safety, depressed because I can't see why
I'm needed in life and stressed even more because of school.
As I said this will be my senior year, and in our senior
year we have to do a project in order to graduate. It is
over what we want to be/ what we are going into when we
leave high school. Now my past in high school has been
rough. I get all As mainly with a few Bs here and there but
I miss the most days possible, usually always over the
amount allowed. I have a blast at school (fun), but every
morning I wake up and cry dreading the day and I feel like
the whole day I'm just wearing a mask making my friends
laugh and enjoy themselves. I know college is different, but
I can't see myself there. I feel like I cannot take on
college. I know they don't let you miss many days and I know
that I will, theres just something that stresses me although
I can't pick it up. So I really need help on finding
something I can do, and just overall help before I break! I
have been suicidal before, but I'm not to that point yet.
And even when I got there I know that I couldn't do that to
my parents so I know that I will manage to live but I feel
like I don't have a choice and I have to go to college. To
top it off I don't know how I can get a job because I'm so
scared and shy. I really love animals but I can't find a way
to put my life to helping them.
I'm sorry for this being so crazy and probably hard to
understand..but even if you can give me a little guidance I
will appropriate it!
Answer Hi Crystal, Sorry for being late. I wrote you an answer a short time ago and then lost it so i am redoing it. I will make some comments in capital lettters so you will easily see them. im not shouting.
Hello I am a 17 year old girl coming up to my senior year of
high school on September 1st. My main question is that I
need help, or somewhere to look to see what I can do with my
life. I use to have meaning but I feel I've pretty much lost
it. I would always be there for my best friend, she has
always been very shy, but finally last year she has found a
great guy and he has been taking very good care of her. But
in doing so, she spends a lot of time with him and I am
pretty much no longer needed.WELL SHE NEEDED YOU WHEN SHE WAS SINGLE BUT NOW SHE IS OCCUPIED AND YOU SEE IT AS HER HAVING FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU. BUT THIS IS NOT UNUSUAL.
I am so glad of what he has
done and I've been wanting to thank him but I haven't got
the courage to tell him how much what he has done means to
me. I have never seen her more happy. But without me having
to help her I really feel like I'm unneeded.YOU MAY HAVE SOME UNCONSCIOUS NEED TO FEEL THAT PEOPLE NEED YOU TO HELP THEM OR YOU MAY GENUINELY WISH TO HELP OTHERS BUT ITS AT THE EXPENSE OF YOUR OWN NEEDS. WHILE YOU ARE LOOOKING OUT FOR OTHERS YOU ARE NEGLECTING YOUR OWN NEEEDS.
For the past
four or so summers I have broken up and went back out with a
guy. He told me a lot that he wanted to kiss and I knew he
had already been with other girls in bed, but I wasn't that
type so eventually the pressure just got to much and I would
break up with him..over and over again.THAT WAS PROBABLY A GGOD MOVE ON YOUR PART.
He never knew why
until recently. But since I have been going out with a
different guy and when I mentioned his name, my ex freaked
out and won't talk to me since.HE MUST HAVE KNOWN OF THE GUYS REPUTATION. ITS NEVER A GOOD IDEA TO DISCUSS OLD FLAMES WITH A NEW PERSON AS THEY NATURALLY FEEL THEY ARE BEING COMPARED TO SOMEONE ELSE.
The last time he stopped
talking to me I went out of my mind and didn't get him back
as a friend until I approached him and literally begged him
to take me back in his life.YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO GEG ANYONE.
I constantly worry about him
because he has went suicidal over me before. Not good people
to be around I know but I really care for him, I just don't
love him. THERE YOU ARE WORRTING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE AND NOT LOOKING OUT FOR YOUR OWN INTERESTS. ITS OK THAT YOU DO NOT LOVE HIM JUST DO NOT TELL HIM THAT. SUCH A REJECTING STATEMENT IS HARD ON ANYONE BUT MAY BE ESPECIALLY HARD ON THIS BOY.
So right now I am very stressed.YOU CANNOT LOVE EVEEYONE AND YOU CANNOT WORRY ABOUT EVERYONE.
I am constantly
worrying about his safety, THERE YOU PUTTING OTHERS FIRST IN YOUR LIFE. YOU NEED TO LOOK OUT FOR YOURSELF BECAUSE NOONE ELSE IS GOING TO DO SO. ITS NOT SELFISH TO LOOK OUT FOR ONESLF. ITS ACTUALLY SMART BECAUSE YOU STAND A BETTER CHANCE OF HELPING OTHERS IF YOU ARE ON FIRM GROUND YOURSELF AND IT APPEARS YOU ARE NOT BY THE WAY YOU FEEL STRESSED OUT.
depressed because I can't see why
I'm needed in life and stressed even more because of school. YOU ARE HERE FOR A PURPOSE AND YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY STUMBLED UPON IT.
As I said this will be my senior year, and in our senior PERHAPS YOUR FUTURE LIES IN A SOCIAL SERVICES YPE OF JOB, PERHAPS IN NURSEING, PERHAPS AS A THERAPIST. SINCE YOU SEEM TO NOT MIND HELPING OTHERS.
year we have to do a project in order to graduate. It is
over what we want to be/ what we are going into when we
leave high school.WELL NOW YOU MAY BE ABLE TO USE THIS AS A STARTING POINT,
Now my past in high school has been
rough. I get all As mainly with a few Bs here and there but
I miss the most days possible, usually always over the
amount allowed. NOW WHY IS THAT?
I have a blast at school (fun), but every
morning I wake up and cry dreading the day and I feel like
the whole day I'm just wearing a mask making my friends
laugh and enjoy themselves.YOU MAY HAVE WHAT IS CALLED A "MASKED DEPRESSION"
I know college is different, but
I can't see myself there. I feel like I cannot take on
college.THRN PREHAPS YOU NEED TO FIND A JOB AND EARN SOME MONEY AND DO NOT FORGET TO TREAT YOURSELF TO A FEW NEW ITEMS SYCH AS AN ARTICLE OF CLOTHING OR SOMETHING TO HELP YOUR EGO.
I know they don't let you miss many days and I know
that I will, WHY WILL YOU MISS MANY DAYS?
theres just something that stresses me although
I can't pick it up.PERHAPS ITS THAT YOU ANTICIPATE YOU WILL END UP FEELING USED OR IGNORED AFTER YOU PUT FORTH EFFORT TO HELP SOMEONE AND THEN GET NO THANKS FOR IT,
So I really need help on finding
something I can do, and just overall help before I break! I
have been suicidal before, but I'm not to that point yet.YOU ARE FAR FROM BEING ALONE AS A TEEN HAVING THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE.IT DOES NOT TAKE VERY MUCH TO TRIGGER SUCH FEELINGS DURING THE TEENAGE YEARS.
And even when I got there I know that I couldn't do that to
my parents so I know that I will manage to live but I feel
like I don't have a choice and I have to go to college.YES YOU ALWAYS HAVE CHOICE. MAYBE YOU NEED TO TAKE SOME TIME OFF SNF JUST GET SN ORDINARY JOB WORKING IN A RETAIL STORE WHERE YOU WILL BE AROUND PEOPLE YOUR AGE AND MAYBE THIS WILL ENABLE YOU TO DEVELOP A FEW GOALS TO STRIVE FOR. SCHOOL ITSELF IS A STRESS.
To
top it off I don't know how I can get a job because I'm so
scared and shy. GETTING A JOB ITSELF CAN BE SCARY BECAUSE YOU MAY HAVE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS NOONE HAS ASKED YOU BEFORE. SO MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY CARD WITH YOU OR KNOW THE NUMBER, HAVE AT LEAST FOUR TO FIVE REFERENCES NAMES AND ADDRESSES AND TELPHONE NUMBERS WITH YOU AS WELL AS HOW LONG YOU HAVE KNOWN THEM. USE ADULTS NOT OTHER TEENS. PEOPLE USUALLY USE CURRENT OF FORMER TEACHERS OR A MEMBER OF THE CLERGY.
I really love animals but I can't find a way
to put my life to helping them. SEE IF YOU CAN VOLINTEER AT A HUMANE SOCIETY TO WALK SOME DOGS. IF YOU LIVE NEAR A FARM THAT BOARDS HORSES PERHAPS YOU CAN GET SOME TIME IN EVENIN A VOLUNTEER BASIS AS A "GROOM "FOR HORSES. THERE ARE FAE ROO MANY NEGLECTED AND ABANDONED ANIMALS THAT NEED SOMEONE TO CARE ABOUT THEM.
I'm sorry for this being so crazy and probably hard to
understand..but even if you can give me a little guidance I
will appropriate it! OK YOU NEED TO DECIDE IF YOU WANT A CARRER WHICH WILL ALLW YOU TO HELP OTHERS. YOU NEED TO DECIDE IF YOU WANT TO POSTPONE GOING ON TO A COLLEGE RIGHT NOW ADTER HIGH SCHOOL. YOU ALSO MAY NEED TO SEE YOUR PRIMARY CARE PHYSICAIN AND LEVEL WITH HIM OR HER ABOUT HOW YOU HAVE BEEN FEELING ESPECIALLY ABOUT HARMING YOURSELF. THEY MAY RECOMMEND YOU SEE A PSYCHIATRIST WHO WILL DECIDE IF YOU NEED TO BE STARTED O SOME ANTIDEPRESSANT THERAPY. NEXT IF YOU ARE NOT NOW A CHURCH GOER THEN YOU NEED TO START.yOU ALSO NEED TO JOIN A FEW CHURCH YOUTH GROUPS AND SOCIALIZE WITH OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND NOT TO ISOLATE YOURSELF. YOU CAN ASK AROUND WHAT CHURCHES HAVE YOUTH GROUPS AND GO TO THEIR MEETINGS. YOU ALSO NEED TO HAVE GOD IN YOUR LIFE EVERYDAY AND LEARN TO REALIZE HE IS IN CONTROL OF EVERYTHING NOT OTHERS. YOU SHOULD TALK TO BOTH OF YOUR PARENTS ABOUT YOUR FUTURE AND TELL THEM NOW THAT YOU MIGHT WANT TO POSTPONE GOING ON YO A COLLEGE RIGHT AWAY AFTER YOU GRADUATE. THERES NO POINT IN GETTING INTO AN ARGUMNET, IF THAT HAPPENS THEN LET THE SUBJECT DROP. YOUR HAPPINES IS WHAT COUNTS NOT WHAT SOMEONE ELSE EXPECTS YOU TO DO. YOU MAU WOSH TO ATTEND A COMMUNITY COLLEGE NEAR YOU AND EASE INTO THE COLLEGE EXPERIENCE AND YOU DO NOT NEED TO GO FULL TIME EITHER. YOU MAY JUT WANT TO SEE HOW IT GOES AND LEARN ABPUT WHAT CAREER PROGRAMS THEY OFFER. A TWO YEAR COMMUNITY COLLEGE IS WHERE YOU CAN GET YOUR BASIC COURSES OUTOF THE WAY.
IF YOU NEED TO WRITE TO ME I WILL GIVE YOU MY EMAIL SO YOU CAN GET A FASTER ANSWER TO ANY OTHER QUESTIONS YOU HAVE OR IF YOU ARE UNSURE OF HOW TO PROCEED. MY EMAIL IS SCUSSETBEACH@HOTMAIL.COM
