Expert: Dr. Jerry Martin Jr. - 6/15/2009

Question
Dear Jerry,
 I am a sophomore in high school, and I am 16 years old. I play football and
baseball, and for the past 3 years all I have wanted to do was play football. I
do not want to play baseball anymore, and all my parents want me to do is
play baseball. I have told them numerous times that I am only playing football
next year, and when I told them that, my dad very immaturely did not talk to
me for 2 weeks, and my mom would not stop crying. They are not letting me
make decisions by my self. How am I supposed to grow up when I can't make
decisions for myself? All I want is for them to trust me on my decision making
skills. I think they want me to play is because that is their only time for them
to talk to the baseball parents(their only friends). My parents still think I am
the 12 year old little league stud that I used to be. I think their dreams for me
are to see me play baseball in college, and I don't want to do that. Through
their eyes, I would be breaking the only dreams they have left. Also, my
parents expect me to be exactly like my sister. They always make crude
remarks because I am not smiling 24/7, and I am not extremely happy all the
time. They always say " why can't you be like your sister" Its because Im not! I
need some advice, and whenever I confront them I am very straightforward
with them, but they never get my point.

thanks for your help

Answer
Hi Chris,

I totally understand how you feel about it and do concur with your sport choice and you indeed made your decision to play football next year.  That is fine.  I see nothing wrong with it.

Problem is not you.  It is your parents who does not accept it and in fact you are growing up and can make your own decisions.

I think you are doing a right thing to be straightforward and honest with your parents.  If they wouldn't budge or listen to you, I suggest you talk with your school guidance counselor who can set up a meeting with you and your parents to address it.

If your parents will not do it, then tough!  You stick with your own decision and personal choice which sports you want to play next year.

You also are correct, you are not the sister. They seems to compare her with you.  I disagree with your parents's point of view.

You have a nice day.

Doc Jerry