AboutJonathan Expertise I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.
Experience I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).
Question hey its me again thanks for your help earlier.
i took your advice and tried to ask her out. i first asked her to a new club but she said that she had an exam to study for that week so she refused. (she didn't lie she really did have an exam)but i kinda felt that maybe a night club wasen't the right place for her cause i think i forgot to mention this that she's an indian so shes not use to dating and kissing. she only shifted her about 7months ago.
so i decided to invite her to watch a movie on dvd. i got the one she had mentioned that she would wanna watch.
she accepted this time. the best thing was my brother had a match that evening and was out. so were my parents. so we would be alone. she didn't seem to mind as she in the next flat. but nothing happened. i tried to flirt and even told her that she looked soo beautiful but she just thanked me. she didn't even blush! and well she's such a skillful talker. i feel like she's a lot older to me. i mean she's so mature. i kept asking her questions and i even asked about her interest in boys. she said that she's bad and shy hen it come to guys. i told her again that she doesn't need to be as she soo beautiful. but she again smiled playfully.
i don't think she takes me seriously i think she kinda treats me like a brother. she asked me what my plans for the future were. i said that i didn't know as my grades were pretty bad(however i did improve a little after she started helping me). then i asked her the same. she said her family had plans of going back to india after she passed out of high school and that back there she wanted to appear for some competitive exam of institution of technology i think something to do with engineering.
i felt really sad that she would leave. i also felt that she is soo intelligent and in a completely different level than me! i mean i barely pass in my subjects and she being younger than everyone else in her class tops in all hers even when she's taken up the most challenging and difficult subjects. i feel like she might have the likes for someone of her own league. but i just can't give up on her. i think i love her. i really do!
and the worst thing is when we were together, my telephone rang and she was the one to pick it up as i was in the kitchen. it was my brother, he called to give me the news of his victory as i told him i couldn't come as i had to study for a test but when he heard her on the phone and asked her what she was doing she told him that i had invited her for a movie. i didn't get a chance to speak to him on the phone. after he got back he was really mad at me and even became violent. i asked him why he was after the one girl i loved even when he being a football player and good looking had a chance with many girls already.
he said that it was because he loved her to!.
well after all that my brother an i have become quite distant. i am still good friends with her and she is as sweet to me as always. but my brother started flirting with her more often now and even at times drives her back home from school. the one who she likes, well nobody knows.
i can't get over her because she's so unique and beautiful.
please reply me of what i should do next.
Answer Hi Kalvin, well its good that you beat your brother out. He will get over it. Its ok to flirt but this girl is from an area where the girls are typically shy and reserved and not at all like the american girls. She obviously already has goals for the future and so should you and perhaps you ought to discuss them with her. Watching a dvd is ok but being alone is not especially without any chaperones or adults at home. I do not think she is ready to go to any clubs, shopping yes or to a sports event or to play tennis or to be with you during the daytime. Never try to force yourself on her and do not try to kiss her. A nice girl from most cultures other than our own are not into kissing anyone right away like the girls in the US are. In the phillipines you cannot even hold a girls hand in public. If you try to she will instantly pull away. It has a bad connotation that she is a prostitute if she holds hands with a guy. They will also not be likely to kiss a boy either. I do not think the rest of the aisan (probably spelled wrong) culture is much different. So take it slow and be a perfect gentleman. She does sound mature for her age and sounds serious about her education. Just be good to her and be kind to her.
