AboutJonathan Expertise I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.
Experience I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).
Question Well im 14 year old black girl whos going to be a freshman this year at a mostly black school.I had a situation with a friends boy cousin who i liked a long time where i messed with him out of curiousity when i wasnt that mature in thinking for myself.He told alot of people then called me a hoe and told my friend a bunch of shit about me he posably wouldnt say to my face.But i havent seen him since and hes home from getting in some serious trouble,i knew i was dumb fro what i dud but i really wasnt thinking and ill be going to high school and its a possibility that somebodies going ask me about it and im anxious.What should i do???!!!
Answer Hi Destiny,
Have as little to say as possible. Just tell the person if anyone asks you about him tell them you found out he likes boys and leave it at that. Let them draw their own conclusions. Yes he probably does like boys and girls just like a girl likes boys and also likes girls. If not then nobody would ever have any friends they can talk with or bounce their ideas off of. Having friends helps you to keep your sanity. You need a best friend of course and if not then a few close friends. If anyone asks you is it true that you did this or that , tell them no and that if they want to find out how "girlish" he is why don't they go try to date him. This is quite an insult to a boys masculinity but in this case its deserved. A gentleman does not "kiss and tell" and neither does a young lady "kiss and tell" about anything they and their boyfriend or girlfriend do in private. This guy has yet to learn this fact. Just a word of advice-you need to look out for your own interest in everything not someone else's. You need to look out for your school grades and your sports activities and club activities and get involved in as much as your school offers. Pretty soon you will be well known by everyone as they see you in so many activities. Do not let your school work suffer. If you need extra help then go in before class or after class and ask for it. No one is going to look out for you quite as well as you yourself will. Never compromise your beliefs if you wish to wait until marriage to have a physical relationship. Theres nothing wrong with that and its not old fashioned either. The sexually transmitted diseases out there today were unheard of in my generation. we never heard of aids (a death sentence, or genital herpes(you have it forever and it severely limits the chances of getting married to anyone), or chalmydia (noone heard of that until late in the 1970's). By the way every sexually active girl needs to be tested for chalmydia at least two times per year since a girl or a boy may not have any symptoms. If you are not now a church goer then you need to become one and join the church choir and go to practice. Im in church two nights a week. Sunday night and wednesday night. Join a youth fellowship or two while you are investigating some churches. And remember it is God who is in control not man. Man is nothing and only has authority because it was granted to him from God who can just as easily remove that authority. In short look to God and Jesus for whatever your heart desires. Whatever God gives to you wil be right for you and exactly what you need. Make sure you talk to God everyday and whenever you are in doubt about anything. It sounds like you are going to have to teach these young guys how you are willing to be treated. That is how you expect them to treat you and how they are going to behave. If they do not get the point then drop them. I hope this helps you .
