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Is there a chance with this guy?
Hi, my name is Tori, and I'm 11 years old, and I'm in the 6th grade. I've had a HUGE crush on a guy (named Walker) since, like, the first day of 5th grade, when I switched into his school. I've always kinda thought he liked me too, but I was never sure. Over the summer, me and his twin sister, Lexie, became really, really close friends. Of coarse I never told her the feelings I've had for her brother. Now that I've come to middle school, and I'm 100% ready to start dating, especially ready to date him. I still think he likes me, because he always makes sure to talk to me, and is always staring at me. Also, it seems as if he's always making an effort to make me laugh, and it seems he's always around. One of the problems is, I know of 4 other girls who have a crush on this particular boy.And I'm friends with all of them. The main question is, is there a way to start going out with him with out A) making i=Lexie mad and/or seeming like I was pretending to be friends with her to get to him. B) making my new friends mad C) not asking him myself D) seeming like a creeper. Please answer ASAP I'm desperate.

Answer
Hi Tori,

Sorry for the delay.  First of all kids your age are starting to want to date guys earlier than ever.  This was kind of unheard of in my generation.  A girl was not allowed to date until she was at least 16.  However, in any event make sure you keep the lines of communication open with your parents.  It sounds as if he likes you or he would not be going to the lengths he is to please you and notice you. You do not need to worry about your going out with him will make your friend Lexie think you were only pretending to be friends with her.  If she says that then make sure you tell her how much you value her friendship. And make sure you also pay attention to Lexie.  If your "new" friends become mad, there is nothing you can do about that.  If you were to worry about making someone mad over dating or being friends with someone then you would never become friends with anyone.  About asking him yourself, its perfectly okay to ask a boy to go someplace with you.  Do your homework first and by homework i mean find out about all the school events going on at your school and about what movies or plays or shows are occurring in your community.  You can also find out about high school sport events going on and invite him to go with you.  You can also invite him to go shopping at a mall and see a movie and then get something to eat. If you are attracted to someone and you want to be with them, then you have to make the first move.  If you do not then someone else will. If you need more advice feel free to ask a follow up question.

Teenage Problems

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Jonathan

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I have dealt with many young people in a teaching environment as well as in teaching young people at tennis clinics. Since younger people have seen so little of the world their view of the world should not be shaped by the confines of what happens within their family unit. Its natural to be shy about developing relationships outside the home but young people need to know the other person is also probably just as shy as they are. If you havea problem then remember you are in good company. There are no new problems. Someone else has also had the same problem. If you need ideas on how to handle them or some choices to consider feel free to ask. I will answer questions about moral issues and how to handle such issues when they come up in your life. Continue reading about the issue of bullies which can be physical, emotional or sexual as well as bullies who use the internet to spread stories about you. You do not have to be teenager to ask a question here on how to handle this. If you are a pre-teen or tween you may also ask a question here.

Experience

I have taught children from 7th through 12th grade. It is all too common for young people to be shy or hesistate because they fear rejection from someone of the opposite sex. You do not have to be a teenager to ask a question here. If you are a pre-teen or "tween" as is commonly used now and are being "bullied" by someone and bullies can be other kids who hit you or as is becoming more common sexual bullying by name calling or spreading stories about you feel free to ask a question about what to do about it. There is also cyber bullying by people who may know you and there can be people who are pretending to be someone they are not who may insult you and try to destroy your self esteem. When you run into people who insult you its best to just block them and delete them or at the very least close down the messenger you are using. If anyone taunts you by calling you names or racial slurs or any slur that involves a persons sexual orientation you need to understand that the person doing that is trying to project their own questions about their own sexual orientation that they are questioning. This may sound complicated and it is. The people who are the most hateful in reality hate themselves and hate what they are desperately trying to convince themselves they are not (for example being gay or lesbian).

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