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Teenage Problems/sex and erection


Dear Taylor,
 I am a boy of 19 and i have a worry, eating me up.
I had been to a bar with my girl friend to have beer. we had 4 pictures of beer. and after that we went to a room and we planned have sex but the worst part is that i couldn't get a proper erection. that was my first time to sleep with a girl and i failed to make it. i masturbate everyday and i am new for alcohol. do you think beer might be the reason for erection problem? please help me. i am really worried. i get morning hood almost everyday.but why i couldn't do it that day though i feel like having sex very frequently? what should i do to prevent erection problem? thank you.

Hi there Siddhartha,

Thank you for taking the time to write to me and I hope that I can help.

The fact that you can masturbate and get erections during the mornings tends to suggest that you are normally fit and healthy and that your body is working correctly. It sounds like either you had too much alcohol (which can cause loss of erections and arousal), you were too anxious about the situation because it was the first time you were having sex with someone or both.

Your erections are controlled by your mind as well as your body and if you are drunk from alcohol or too worried about a situation then your mind goes into overdrive and diverts all of your attention away from sex. The trick is to relax, take things slow and to avoid alcohol (or at least limit the amount that you drink). Alcohol is a depressant and a suppressant which means that not only does it dampen your mood and sexual arousal, it can also play havoc with your sex life; as you have found.

From what you have described you are fit and healthy and this problem will go away naturally. There is no major cure other than to avoid alcohol and do not over-think about sex. Meet this girl (or another girl) outside of a club and if you do want to sleep with her but you have had alcohol then wait until the morning when your body will naturally be ready. If this girl is someone that you can see again, then take time talk to each other about 'normal' things and do not rush in to take your clothes off or else your anxiety will go through the roof and you will not be able to perform. If you do end up in a situation with a girl where you do lose your erection, do not beat yourself up about it or feel bad, spend time exploring her body whilst you masturbate yourself and once you are hard again, then attempt sex. The more pressure you put on yourself and the more deal you make out of this, the worse it will be and the more it will happen. It happens to most guys in their lives at one stage or another and is part of life; so it was a one-off and you will be fine and ready the next time.

I hope that helps.

Good Luck.  

Teenage Problems

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Daryl Taylor, BSc (Hons) Psychology, PGDip (pending certification)


My expertise covers everything and anything to do with growing up, being a teenager or a young adult or being the parent of one of the pre-described. I can cover issues on identity, sexuality, love, relationships, families, drug/alcohol abuse and anything and everything in between.


I have volunteered for for over ten years now, but even before that I was trying to use my experience to help others by working with, and even Lycos and Ask Jeeves. My experience comes from being a teenager primarily but this lead me to work with young people from the age of 13. I have worked front line, face to face and over the telephone, e-mail and webchat for a government department called Connexions UK (aimed at young people aged 13-19); as well as being student counselor in New York, a Peer Mentor, a student teacher and working for my school, college and University to help raise the aspirations of young people. My life has not been easy and I have been through my fair share of issues; so there is little that I haven't been through in reality opposed to just reading it from a book or from my academic studies. I have been featured as a case study as achieving through adversity for a number of magazines and I have featured in a couple of books on both sides of the Atlantic; even though I am UK based.

The Albert Kennedy Trust

Relationships: Cathy Senker, 2012, Raintree The Dean and Chapter Positive Nation GTEN Television Aim Higher

BSc(Hons) Psychology Post Graduate Diploma in Multidisciplinary Design Innovation Basic Counselling Skills Effective Listening Skills Mental Health First Aid

Awards and Honors
Outstanding Student achievement Adult learner's Award

Past/Present Clients Connexions Direct

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