Teenage Problems/Help!

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Question
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and yesterday we did something stupid. We had sex at a sleepover. We're 13 and we know it was stupid. But now I really hurt and I can't sit real well. How should I tell my mom? Please DON'T lecture me. I know it was stupid and it's not happening again. So how should I tell my mom, and what would my doctor do to fix the pain? Is this pain normal after the first time?

Answer
First I have to lecture you a little bit. It's nice to see that you realize what you did was well questionable but it wasn't so much that you had sex it is more that I'm sure you weren't safe and he was probably pretty rough with you. So there is my lecture just if this happens again be safe like use condoms or at the least have him pull out prior to ejaculating.

Ok now to your pain. As this was your first time and you are quite young you probably had your hymen break or more commonly known he broke your cherry. The hymen is a small thin membrane that is there to protect your vagina from foreign matter like fecal matter and dirt and other debris. The hymen is commonly broken during the first time having sex but depending on how your first time was it can either be a slight pinch or severe pain. If he was rough and didn't have any foreplay with you this is probably the cause of the pain. So this will be uncomfortable and painful for awhile and there is really not much you can do to relieve the pain however you can try using painkillers like Advil.

Luckily there is a nice thing that many girls do that is common and most mothers wouldn't bat an eye at it. Wait a day and come to your mom and say something hurt when I was playing sports or something you commonly do that is physically active. Many girls break their hymen doing sports or using tampons etc so if you go to your mom and say I felt some pain after I fell or was using a tampon she probably will suspect you broke your hymen and just help you deal with it. However she may also suspect the truth in that you had sex so it may be embarrassing and you may get in trouble but you may want to consider telling her the truth. If you choose to tell her the truth be sure to say what you Gould me that you had a moment of weakness and you know this was stupid and you'll never do it again she probably will be happier to here this because you are taking this seriously and know what you did.  

Teenage Problems

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Steven

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I have been helping teens and adults with all kinds of questions and concerns just like yourself for many years. I can answer any kind of questions dealing with puberty, sexuality, emotions, and issues with you parents. I have lots of experience searching the internet and my universities library for any sort of resources I may need to better answer your questions. If I don't know the answer to a question you have I will research it until I have a good answer to your problem. I am not that great at answering religious or relational problems but I am willing to work with you until any question is solved. I was a teen just like you so I may know what you are going through and I am always willing to work with you through these troubling times. I check my email daily and I am willing to spend as long as it takes to help you work through your problem and make you feel better about whatever is troubling you. I love to help people out no matter the issue or time of day. I understand that you want an honest answer without being judged by someone or worried that they will reject you because of what you are going through. If you prefer to talk one on one more privately please feel free to ask me to do so and I will be happy to chat with you via email or some other form or private messaging. I know that some questions and concerns are a little more personal then you want to allow to be public.

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I know exactly what it is like to go through high school, both the good and the bad. I did not have the fairytale high school experience in fact quite the opposite. I am a Christian who is also a scientist so my views on religion are not one sided. I enjoy helping anyone in need and will try to the best of my abilities to make you feel better in any way I can. I have ADHD which has made me struggle to get to where I am today, but it was worth it. In my journey to get here, I have gone through some very troubling times, as well as developed the skills needed to aid those around me with anything that is bothering them. I have access to many peer-reviewed journals, textbooks, and many other resources that can aid me in the hunt for answers. I often will spend hours even days looking for the answers to your concerns and will do my best to help you to the best of my abilities.

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I am a member if my local chapters of Golden Key and Sigma Alpha Pi both of which are honor societies who select students in the top ten percent of their class to join. I am a member of the American Chemical Society and I have presented at national conferences on my work as an undergraduate.

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I received my undergraduate degree in chemistry from a prestigious university in 2011. Currently, am attending graduate school full time and am working on my Ph.D. in chemistry. have extensive knowledge of teenage problems, as well as how puberty affects the body and mind. I love to help people no matter what the situation is so please feel free to ask me anything. However, I am best at answering questions dealing with life as a teen including sex, puberty, and your body.

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I have was on the dean's list at my college for most of my undergraduate career and graduated with honors in 2011. I have also been awarded several local awards for my services in the community.

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I would never share the names or information of any of my past or current questioners that I help. All questioners who want to remain private will remain private.

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