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Teenage Problems/Should i message him?

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Question
So I'm 14 from the UK. I'm in year 10 at the moment. A few days ago i thought of this boy. I've known him for ages since i was in primary school and in the last year of primary school we were quite close. However we moved to different secondary schools 3 years ago and we haven't spoken or met up since then. He's my friend on Facebook and i thought about messaging him. The thing is, I'm not sure if he'll remember me or want to speak to me. he's into skateboarding and i am as well, sort of. i have a skateboard but I'm not very good, so i thought we could meet up if he wanted to. but i don't know whether to message him or not, so should i?

Answer
Hi there Charlie,

Thank you for taking the time to write to me and I hope that I can help.

Firstly, let me apologise for not getting back to you sooner but with Christmas and having work commitments, it has not been easy to sit down at my computer. That said, I hope you had a good Christmas and I am sorry.

Facebook is brilliant at staying in touch with people but all too often we end up with friends on there that either we don't really know or don't see anymore so they become just another number or face. But if the people that are our 'friends' online are also good friends 'offline' then it is a brilliant way of keeping up the communication and finding out what you all have been up to. From what you have described about this guy, there is no harm in messaging him to wish him a happy Christmas or to just say 'long time no see, how you doing?'. If you drop him a message with a general conversation starter then there is no reason why he should not reply. Worst case scenario, he doesn't reply, in which case, it does not really matter as you have not physically seen him for so long anyway that you both have your own lives so you have nothing to lose.

Keep the messages light hearted and fun and talk about what you have been up to and see how interested he seems in his replies. If he replies with a lot of questions or seems to be genuinely interested then keep up the momentum and make an effort to 'like' his statuses on Facebook or drop him a line every couple of days. This should re-establish your contact and help to build up your relationship.

I hope that helps.  

Teenage Problems

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Daryl Taylor, BSc (Hons) Psychology, PGDip (pending certification)

Expertise

My expertise covers everything and anything to do with growing up, being a teenager or a young adult or being the parent of one of the pre-described. I can cover issues on identity, sexuality, love, relationships, families, drug/alcohol abuse and anything and everything in between.

Experience

I have volunteered for AllExperts.com for over ten years now, but even before that I was trying to use my experience to help others by working with Advice4teens.co.uk, Teenadviceonline.org and even Lycos and Ask Jeeves. My experience comes from being a teenager primarily but this lead me to work with young people from the age of 13. I have worked front line, face to face and over the telephone, e-mail and webchat for a government department called Connexions UK (aimed at young people aged 13-19); as well as being student counselor in New York, a Peer Mentor, a student teacher and working for my school, college and University to help raise the aspirations of young people. My life has not been easy and I have been through my fair share of issues; so there is little that I haven't been through in reality opposed to just reading it from a book or from my academic studies. I have been featured as a case study as achieving through adversity for a number of magazines and I have featured in a couple of books on both sides of the Atlantic; even though I am UK based.

Organizations
The Albert Kennedy Trust

Publications
Relationships: Cathy Senker, 2012, Raintree The Dean and Chapter Positive Nation GTEN Television Aim Higher

Education/Credentials
BSc(Hons) Psychology Post Graduate Diploma in Multidisciplinary Design Innovation Basic Counselling Skills Effective Listening Skills Mental Health First Aid

Awards and Honors
Outstanding Student achievement Adult learner's Award

Past/Present Clients
Allexperts.com Advice4teensuk.org Teenadviceonline.org lycos.co.uk askjeeves.com Connexions Direct

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