You are here:

Teenage Problems/Was it right to say that??


I probably don't have it bad but today I had a bad day. I was crying over that I could not  find my glasses or watch
A movie. So I was in my room with my door open. I was crying my mom was mad and yelling.
So she yelled shut up! So I murrmerd  you shut up I didn't think she could hear me. She ran up to my room
Yelling in my face saying what did you say to me. ( I only thought it was fair if she can tell me to shut up I should be able to tell her to) then she took away almost all my Christmas presents and kept yelling about how my room was a mess. Then somewhere in there she said your such a selfish little snot headed brat ( that's what I heard but not 100% sure) so my question is was she over reacting or was it me? Now I probably should not have said shut up in the first place but do you blame me? I feel like I will get in trouble for posting this but I need help how should I respond and what should I do?????

Hi E,
Thank you for writing to me.  I'm sorry you had a bad day.  However, you don't know what kind of day your mother was having either.  You stated that she was mad so your crying only added to her mood.  I don't think your mother was mad with you but your crying just pushed her to the limit.  You were right when you said that you should not have told her to "shut up".  We as mothers say things to our children but we don't expect our children to repeat it to us.  So much for what went wrong, you asked me how to fix the situation.  You asked me did I blame you for telling your mother to shut up and the answer is yes.  You were out of line. You must go to your mother and apologize.  It is okay to let her know that you were having a bad day but that you were out of line to respond to her the way you did.

Young people do not understand the pressure that mothers feel in trying to make a wonderful Christmas for their children.  Add that to the stress of you telling her to shut up and that is why she responded to what you heard as "a selfish little snot headed brat".  She did not mean it or she would not have got you the presents that she and other people brought you.  

Everything will be okay.  You have a right to have bad days and you will probably have many more you just have to be considerate of your mother's feelings also.  You should never, ever, disrespect your mother.  We as mothers are not always right but we love and adore our children. Sometimes we don't express it and sometimes we are angry at other people or problems and we take it out on our children.  We expect you to understand our mood.  You are a young person and you don't understand and you will not understand until you are older.  I'm not saying your mother is right, I'm just saying give her a break.  I am saying you were wrong for disrespecting her and you must apologize.  Give her a hug and let her know that you love her.

Please feel free to write back if you want.
Dr. Lee  

Teenage Problems

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Dr. Shirley M Lee


I can answer questions relating to youth that are on probation, arrested, has anger management issues, lack of impulse control, problems in school and substance abuse issues. Additionally, I can answer questions about youth with sex issues, domestic violence, child abuse, child sex abuse, as the abuser and the one that has been abused, parent abuse, physical, mental and psychological abuse. I answer questions about marriage and divorce. I can't answer questions about medication that has been ordered by a psychiatrist and it's side affects or should you stop taking it. I can answer the question as to what reason the medication was ordered.


I have been providing care, guidance, and social services for children, adolescents, and their families for 32plus years. I work with young people who struggle with behavioral problems and issues at home and school. I assist our youth in developing healthy living habits and motivate them to become productive citizens. In addition, I work with the parents and families to motivate and encourage strengthening the family. I have worked with families that have been homeless, in poverty, peer pressure, and bullying. I currently counsel with youth that are on probation for battery, domestic violence, petit and petite theft, substance substance abuse and sex offenders. I also speak with their teachers and go into the homes and schools. I am a mentor to all these children and their parents. When help is needed beyond my expertise I will suggest where to take the child to receive the proper services.


Published 6 books and were sold at the Christian Book Store for one year.

Ph.d in Sacred Religious Counseling; Ph.d in Counseling Psychology; MA in Public Administration; BA in Paralegal; Clinically Certified Domestic Violence Counselor; CFARS (CHILDREN'S FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE); and for adults the FARS (FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE. I am also a Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor.

Awards and Honors
Biblical Studies with highest Honors. Magna Cum laude.

Past/Present Clients
In the past I worked for two different agencies as a Case Manager, a Therapist and a Counselor for the youth. I worked under the leadership of the two agencies as an independent contractor. 3 years ago I began working my own business, which has been in existence since 2002 in counseling. Presently I am working with youth that are on probation and is court ordered to take an anger management and/or impulse control class with me. I am also registered with the county to perform marriage counseling and weddings.

©2017 All rights reserved.