You are here:

Teenage Problems/Dating Advice

Advertisement


Question
Hi, hope you're doing well.  I'm kind of in a situation where I'm very confused and left with doubt.  I'm not sure if it's just the wrong timing or if it's something that is not part of God's will.  I met a guy about 2 months ago.  I first met him on a Christian online dating site but I wasn't a member so a couple months later I found him on facebook where we began talking.  Since the beginning he sounded very interested in me but at the time I didn't know he was not looking for a relationship.  He did tell me that "he'd be dumb to let someone like me go" and he would post really nice love-quote photos on facebook but he wasn't looking for a relationship and I did not know that so I would message him and message him and I was a little upset because I thought he was just playing around with me.  He works full-time and said he was just busy but did not clarify about him not being ready to fall in love with someone.  Eventually, things began going downhill at that point and he deactivated his facebook profile.  We began texting about a week later and even though we didn't communicate much because of how busy he is, he would txt me in the morning and at night when he got out of work. One day he even started texting me before he went to work and once he got to work just to let me know which was awesome but it kind of felt that he had jumped into the next level without me knowing.  So I asked him about it and he kind of started backing off a bit after that and just told me that sorry for not being able to share his feelings with me.  I told him that it was okay and that I needed a little more time as well. The next day, there was another misunderstanding and we stopped talking for a week and then began texting again but this time it was a bit different. Much less texting. A week would go by and no answer. He saw how down I felt at this and said sorry, that he was just busy but that he guaranteed he was not ignoring me. We finally talked by phone after I called him & after asking, he finally told me he was not looking for a relationship.  That he was busy with a new crossfit training program & also that he would be moving to another state so that he just had alot of things going on rightnow then he asked me. I was kind of speechless at first after realizing that he was not emotionally available. I told him that I was but that I was a little confused now.  He then told me that "there could be something", and that he wasn't saying there wasn't because he does not know that but that if it's something meant to be that it will happen.  So, I kind of just agreed with him. After that day, I didn't hear of him for 2 days.  He didn't answer my call during those 2 days. On the third day, I get a text from him saying that he had a new number. We texted a little that night. Next day, he sent me a picture of him. I told him he looked gorgeous and he didn't answer back. I honestly don't know if he just sent me his picture just because now he did not have one of mine on his new phone. Clicked to me 3 days later and I sent him a pic. of myself.  Never texted back either way. So, I texted and texted asking if there was something wrong. I kind of gave up and just told him that sorry for all the texting and that I just though we would be able to text like before but that I understood he was just busy and I just kind of ended it with a "catch you later." The last time he texted me was July 23. Haven't heard of him at all. The last time I texted him was August 5. I'm broken-hearted rightnow. I don't know if he's still interested but doesn't want to talk because he's not ready for a reationship. I'm not sure what to think. I'm very confused. I told him in one of the texts that I missed him and that I guess my feelings were a little advanced. For me, it was something that clicked right away. I know he was/is interested but I just don't understand this situation anymore.  Could it be the wrong timing? Would any other guy behave this way? By this I mean, would anyone allow weeks to go by and not know of the other person even though they are interested? I'm 21 never been in a relationship before. He's 27 and has only had one serious relationship.  I would really appreciate your advice as to what I should do.  Thanks so much.
God bless You!

Answer
Hi Gracie. Sorry to hear about what has happened between the two of you. As a male, I will tell you what this sounds like from the male perspective. It sounds like the man was scared off by the thought of a relationship. I think at first he tried and really did have feelings for you, but life got in the way of it so he just strung you along in hopes of not hurting you. After the picture situation, he probably decided to end it because he did not want you to keep getting the wrong impression. I think he ended it wrongly, he would have been better off being honest with you.
In the end, it would be best to move on from him. Trying to hold onto him is only going to weigh you down and keep you confused. Get back out there and don't get discouraged, there is someone for everyone :)

Teenage Problems

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Dalton Brannick

Expertise

I can answer virtually any questions dealing with teen issues. As a teen myself, I have over come so many obstacles in my life to get to where I am today, a happy and successful place. I am 17 with my own business, a happy long lasting relationship, and a past that got me hear. I want to help other teens since I know what it is like to be one with problems.

Experience

Being a teenager helps. But other than that, I had many issues in school with bullying, both being the bully and the one being bullied, drugs, relationships, and being involved with the wrong people. It took many years but I am now in the best place I have ever been.

Education/Credentials
High school.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.