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Teenage Problems/I Don't Know If You Can Help Me, But Here Goes...

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Question
Okay, here's the thing. There was a girl. I'll call her "Alexa" instead of by her name. We met when we were both thirteen, and we immediately liked each other. In between then and my sophomore year, things were tough. She moved, I moved, yet we remained in contact and really, really liekd each other. In fact, I'm sure it was love. After all of the moving, everything settled down, and we began seeing each other again. At the end of the year, Alexa went with her uncle on a trip all around the U.S. She went for a walk at night when she was hit by a train. On May 1, 2011, she had gone. Since then, I've tried everything. At first, I tried doing the wrong things, doing drugs, drinking alcohol, etc. (By the way, we were 17 when she went), and none of that worked. With the help of my friends, I was able to stop doing the wrpng things. I turned myself around and started doing the right things, even getting a steady girlfriend and pulling myself out of my academic slump. But I still feel terrible. I have no true feelings for the girl I'm dating now, and no matter what I do, I can't let go of the feeling that I'm betraying Aly. I just guess that I want to know if it will ever end, because it sure as heck feels like I'll always be in love with a dead girl.

Answer
Hi Zechariah. Terribly sorry to hear about what happened to "Alexa". It is a terrible thing to loose someone we love so much. You may always be in love with her, but it is the matter of being able to move on that we have to over come. I'm sure Alexa would want you to be happy, to find some one that you can fall in love with again. Dating someone that you have no real feelings for will not help, I can tell you that from experience. If the pain is still fresh in you, taking a long break from the dating world may be a good thing. Also, I know it can be a hard thing to admit, but counseling is often a helpful thing. Because it is a person you do not personally know, it helps open up and say things to them you would not be able to admit to someone you know. When I was in a hard time, counseling did help me.
I know nothing will be able to replace the hurt you feel, but you have to be able to face each day knowing that Alexa would want you to be happy without her.
If you ever need a stranger to talk to, feel free to send me another message, you can even keep it private by selecting "Yes" for the private option if you would like. I hope things turn around for you.  

Teenage Problems

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Dalton Brannick

Expertise

I can answer virtually any questions dealing with teen issues. As a teen myself, I have over come so many obstacles in my life to get to where I am today, a happy and successful place. I am 17 with my own business, a happy long lasting relationship, and a past that got me hear. I want to help other teens since I know what it is like to be one with problems.

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Being a teenager helps. But other than that, I had many issues in school with bullying, both being the bully and the one being bullied, drugs, relationships, and being involved with the wrong people. It took many years but I am now in the best place I have ever been.

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High school.

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