Teenage Problems/Parents


Hi Jonathan, I'm a 16 year old girl from Australia. My parents don't see what a great kid I am. Where I live, every girl my age has has sex with more than five different guys, everyone my age drink every weekend and does drugs and hardly anyone does well in school or cares. My town has the highest rate of teen pregnancy in Australia. Then there's me; I've never had sex, I don't like to drink and I have huge hopes for my education and my future. I always help out around the house and I've got a job. My school report was fantastic, all As and Bs. None of the kids in this town even ask or tell their parents where they're going every weekend, and I stay home most the time cause I'm not allowed to do what everyone else does. When I go out they want me home by 10.30. Anyway last night was New Year's Eve and I went to a party (told them where I was going, who id be with, told them it would be a big party) and my mum said no sex when I left. Usually she says no drinking. All my friends know I don't like to much and my mum should know that too cause she always offers me drinks at home and I always say no. Anyways so it's New Years and I'm at this party, everyone I blind drunk and smoking. I have NEVER smoked despite always being around people who do including my mum. One can lasted me this entire night and I was not drunk. My mum got angry at me for having ONE DRINK even though I was by far the most responsible drinker at this party and out of everyone in my age group. I was completely honest about everything that happened at this party and they just think I'm a feral or something. I'm probably one of the best kids to have in this whole town and they don't realise how hard I try to impress them. I always say no to my friends stupid ideas, I always do well in school, I am never influenced by other people's bad choices. How can I ever get them to see how lucky they are that I'm their kid. I never even argue back to them that's why I'm rambling on here because I never let it out to them. I respect my parents and I'm so good to them. I'm do devoted to doing well in school I had one drink on New Year's Eve because I knew I'd spend every weekend this year doing homework because I'm doing all the hardest classes and I want to get into medicine. Please tells how I can show them how ungrateful they've been. I have worked so hard for years to build a good relationship with them. I am 16 years old and on New Years it's perfectly acceptable to have one drink over the course of a night. This is ridiculous. Sorry for talking so much.

Hi Eveny,
Thank you for writing to me.  Congratulations for being an outstanding teenager. Your parents know what a wonderful person you are.  It is just hard for them to accept the fact that you are not having sex, drinking, or doing drugs.  I am glad you were honest with your parents about the drink that you had at the party.  However, you are too young to be drinking.  Please don't take what I am about to say the wrong way.  When you informed your parents that you had a drink, they figured you were like the rest of the teenagers around your age.  They fail to see how wonderful you are.  Don't stop being honest with them.  

I don't mind you writing so much to me.  I enjoy reading letters.  You stated that you wrote so much because you don't express yourself to your parents.  You are not unique in that matter.  Most teenagers do not or cannot speak openly to there parents.  In your case, I think you feel that you are being disrespectful if you speak openly with your parents.  I don't believe you will be being disrespectful.  It is not what you say but how you say it.  Explain to your parents that you do not drink, do drugs, or have sex.  Tell them it is because of the way they raised you and because you have more respect for yourself.  Remind them of the grades you are getting in school because you are thinking about your future.  

Sometimes as parents, when we are not told anything we believe everything and most of the time we believe the worse and hope for the best.  Let your parents know how you feel not only about them but about yourself.  You see, when teenagers are doing things just to please their parents sometimes they get distracted into doing the wrong things.  However, you are not doing good just for your parents.  You are doing this for yourself and your future.  I believe you are going to make your parents very proud of you and they will see what a wonderful daughter they have and has always had.

Please feel free to write me about anything on your mind.  Keep up the good work.  The rewards will be great.  Never give up on your parents.  They love you and are just afraid of the way the teenagers are messing up their lives today.  Talk to your parents and continue to be honest with them and yourself.

Dr. Lee

Teenage Problems

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Dr. Shirley M Lee


I can answer questions relating to youth that are on probation, arrested, has anger management issues, lack of impulse control, problems in school and substance abuse issues. Additionally, I can answer questions about youth with sex issues, domestic violence, child abuse, child sex abuse, as the abuser and the one that has been abused, parent abuse, physical, mental and psychological abuse. I answer questions about marriage and divorce. I can't answer questions about medication that has been ordered by a psychiatrist and it's side affects or should you stop taking it. I can answer the question as to what reason the medication was ordered.


I have been providing care, guidance, and social services for children, adolescents, and their families for 32plus years. I work with young people who struggle with behavioral problems and issues at home and school. I assist our youth in developing healthy living habits and motivate them to become productive citizens. In addition, I work with the parents and families to motivate and encourage strengthening the family. I have worked with families that have been homeless, in poverty, peer pressure, and bullying. I currently counsel with youth that are on probation for battery, domestic violence, petit and petite theft, substance substance abuse and sex offenders. I also speak with their teachers and go into the homes and schools. I am a mentor to all these children and their parents. When help is needed beyond my expertise I will suggest where to take the child to receive the proper services.


Published 6 books and were sold at the Christian Book Store for one year.

Ph.d in Sacred Religious Counseling; Ph.d in Counseling Psychology; MA in Public Administration; BA in Paralegal; Clinically Certified Domestic Violence Counselor; CFARS (CHILDREN'S FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE); and for adults the FARS (FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE. I am also a Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor.

Awards and Honors
Biblical Studies with highest Honors. Magna Cum laude.

Past/Present Clients
In the past I worked for two different agencies as a Case Manager, a Therapist and a Counselor for the youth. I worked under the leadership of the two agencies as an independent contractor. 3 years ago I began working my own business, which has been in existence since 2002 in counseling. Presently I am working with youth that are on probation and is court ordered to take an anger management and/or impulse control class with me. I am also registered with the county to perform marriage counseling and weddings.

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