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Teenage Problems/dating and no sex


QUESTION: Hi Scarlet,
You said I need to first date, to find a life partner.
but why do I need a life partner ??

-> I know to cook ...
-> I can clean my room myself ...
-> I have a job to take care of myself ...

One think I realized is life partner is for -
1)Sharing our feelings.
2)To have kids
3)For sex.

=> I don't mind sharing my feelings with my male friends who are very helpful.
=> Coming to Kids, y do I need to marry to have kids. There are many kids in the world without father nd mother to take care of them.
=> If money is there then many woman are ready to date, or marry or have sex.

I am confident enough to go and speak to a woman but, its just that I am guilty of asking her for a date becos the ultimate intention by the end of the day is to have "SEX". I surrender, I am a loser ......

ANSWER: You don't necessarily need a life partner. If you are okay with cruising through life just dating then that's fine. And if you want to have kids out of wedlock then that's up to you. If you go by the bible though, God says it's a sin to have sex while not married. If your intentions to date are only because you want to have sex then maybe you should stick to masturbation. You're not a loser, it's normal to feel this way. But it's not right to just use girls for sex.

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QUESTION: Hi dear Scarlet,
I accept that its not right to just use girls for sex. Does bible say that men can masturbate? because during masturbation a person thinks about a beautiful girl and then masturbates. Looks like masturbation is also against bible.
Anywayz, can I personally contact u and get to learn more from you. Your phone number or email-id will be fine or if u want I will give mine. bye, take care ......

ANSWER: The bible doesn't say that men can't masturbate. It's not the masturbation that's the sin. The sin is in the lusting and the thoughts you think of while masturbating. If you'd like to contact me I have a website called My email is

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Scarlet I am sorry I m going to lose my virginity soon, I m not able to control myself. I am badly in need of sex. Its god's mistake that he created humans with sexual interest. My  body is full of fire, its like I will fuck a woman 100 times in one day if I find one. Meditation or reading bible will not help now, What should I do ?? Lets say I don't have sex but just kiss and press the boobs of a woman, is this also against bible ??

I'm not the bible. If you really want to know what it says then you should read it. You're looking to me to find you loopholes in order to have sex and it doesn't work that way. And I want you to know that God doesn't make mistakes. There's nothing wrong with having sexual interest; but it's all in how you control it.

You don't know if meditation or reading the bible will help or not because you haven't done it. It isn't a sin to kiss a woman. It isn't a sin to place your hands on her breasts either. However, the sin is in the lusting and that's what you're doing. You're just lusting because your hormones are going crazy and you feel the need to have sex.

At this point you do what you have to do. I believe that you should wait and do things to take your mind off of sex. But if you believe that you can't take it anymore than do what you have to do. I've said all I can. I don't know what else I can do.

It's your life and you have to make your own decisions. No one can tell you what to do. All I can offer is my advice. I'm not telling you what to do; I'm only telling you what I suggest. You'll figure out what it is you want to do. And FYI, you can never go wrong with the bible. Don't underestimate God :-)

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Scarlet Murdock


Even though I have no teenagers of my own, I've seen, heard and have experienced a lot of things dealing with teenagers. I take the experience of me being a teen along with the problems and issues teens have today and I offer my opinions and advice. Since I'm no longer in my teens, I'm wiser, which means that I can definitely guide you in the right direction when it comes to solving your problems.

Experience is a website that I am very proud to say that I am a part of. I created this site for teenagers all over. I wanted to give you a place where you could gain some knowledge, ask questions and see what your fellow teenagers can offer you. Teen-Babble is about sharing experiences, growing and becoming a better person. I am also part of my local Boys and Girls club where I hang out with teens about 3 times a day and help them with anything I can.

Boys and Girls Club


Western Michigan University

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