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Teenage Problems/I have heard my dad and his girlfriend having sex

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Question
I am a thirteen year old girl and I am an only child. My dad has a girlfriend and I think they have been together for about nine months now. I have a strong relationship with my dad, and I really like his girlfriend. I have heard them having sex twice now, and it really disturbs me to hear them, and they are right across the hallway from me so I can hear them quite clearly, even though I think they are trying to be quiet and they think I am asleep. It makes me feel uncomfortable to be around them. I don't think I can confront either of them. What should I do? I don't want to make it awkward or break up their relationship or anything.

Answer
Hi Claudia,

Thank you for writing to me.  I have read your question and I think you should get your dad alone and speak with him.  There is no need to be embarrassed or ashamed.  Your dad will understand.  Let him know that you like his girlfriend and you are not trying to come between them but that you feel uncomfortable being around them.  You may want to listen to the radio or watch TV until you dose off if you think you will hear them.  Hopefully, once your dad know that you can hear them they will wait until they know you are asleep to engage in sex.  However, if this makes you uncomfortable, and your dad will probably be embarrassed to know that you can hear them, you should mention it to him.

Respectfully,
Dr. Lee

Teenage Problems

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Dr. Shirley M Lee

Expertise

I can answer questions relating to youth that are on probation, arrested, has anger management issues, lack of impulse control, problems in school and substance abuse issues. Additionally, I can answer questions about youth with sex issues, domestic violence, child abuse, child sex abuse, as the abuser and the one that has been abused, parent abuse, physical, mental and psychological abuse. I answer questions about marriage and divorce. I can't answer questions about medication that has been ordered by a psychiatrist and it's side affects or should you stop taking it. I can answer the question as to what reason the medication was ordered.

Experience

I have been providing care, guidance, and social services for children, adolescents, and their families for 32plus years. I work with young people who struggle with behavioral problems and issues at home and school. I assist our youth in developing healthy living habits and motivate them to become productive citizens. In addition, I work with the parents and families to motivate and encourage strengthening the family. I have worked with families that have been homeless, in poverty, peer pressure, and bullying. I currently counsel with youth that are on probation for battery, domestic violence, petit and petite theft, substance substance abuse and sex offenders. I also speak with their teachers and go into the homes and schools. I am a mentor to all these children and their parents. When help is needed beyond my expertise I will suggest where to take the child to receive the proper services.

Organizations
AACC (AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF CHRISTIAN COUNSELORS) AND THE BAACC (BLACK AFRICAN-AMERICAN CHRISTIAN COUNSELORS).

Publications
Published 6 books and were sold at the Christian Book Store for one year.

Education/Credentials
Ph.d in Sacred Religious Counseling; Ph.d in Counseling Psychology; MA in Public Administration; BA in Paralegal; Clinically Certified Domestic Violence Counselor; CFARS (CHILDREN'S FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE); and for adults the FARS (FUNCTIONAL ASSESSMENT RATING SCALE. I am also a Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor.

Awards and Honors
Biblical Studies with highest Honors. Magna Cum laude.

Past/Present Clients
In the past I worked for two different agencies as a Case Manager, a Therapist and a Counselor for the youth. I worked under the leadership of the two agencies as an independent contractor. 3 years ago I began working my own business, which has been in existence since 2002 in counseling. Presently I am working with youth that are on probation and is court ordered to take an anger management and/or impulse control class with me. I am also registered with the county to perform marriage counseling and weddings.

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